


What We Become

by SaraNoH



Series: Nadiaverse [8]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Asgard, Avengers in Asgard, Domestic Avengers, F/M, Kid Fic, POV Natasha Romanov, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-02
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-01-14 08:13:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 28,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1259251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraNoH/pseuds/SaraNoH
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the Avengers travel to Asgard for Jane and Thor's wedding, Natasha is forced to confront an enemy from her past and a new possibility for her future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to another multi-chapter fic in the Nadiaverse! Reading Wishes and Nightmares before this probably isn't a bad idea, but is not mandatory.
> 
> This story will be updated bi-weekly on alternating Sundays from new chapters from 180 Days and Counting.
> 
> The only characters in here that are mine are Nadia and Sitwell's family. Don't sue, please.
> 
>  
> 
> Immense thanks as always to **the_wordbutler** for being my support new work and sating my inner comment whore.

Natasha picked herself up from the pavement with a groan. She waved off Steve’s question of concern and fell back into her battle stance. Everything ached. Her lungs were on fire, she was continuously sweeping blood out of her left eye, and her head was already buzzing with a migraine.

“Seriously,” Clint’s voice spoke in her ear. “These drones can go fu—“

“Keep the comm clear,” Steve snapped before coughing.

“Seconded,” Tony’s voice called. “The drone thing, not Cap’s order.”

Natasha shook her head, more to center her focus than as a reaction to the banter. Steve had attracted the two drones that were coming for her into attacking him instead, but he’d already been going hand-to-hand with three at the time. She tried to take a deep breath, but it instantly became a deep pain and shallow inhale. Pushing aside the burning ache and the fact that her body was refusing to breathe, she focused on the fact that her husband was surrounded by one of their greatest enemies, and she was the only one close enough and on the ground to help.

Powering through her weakness, she took down one and then another. It seemed the only way this round of test drones could be stopped was by taking off their heads. Natasha was more than happy to cause some decapitations today.

The robots were a foe the Avengers had fought on occasion for the last three-and-a-half years. Some weapons manufacturers in a distant corner of the galaxy had decided the members of the Initiative were the most valiant foes the universe could offer and made a habit of testing their new products on the team once every few months. The Avengers had yet to find a way to stop them, and it pissed everyone off.

Twenty minutes later, they’d disabled enough of the drones that their producers recalled them through portals to go back home and be retooled. Natasha watched the indigo tubes of light disappear back into the sky, and promptly passed out.

When she woke, she was in the med center and Steve was standing over her. She tried to tell him that she was fine, but all that came out was a cough that wracked her entire body. 

“Quit pulling your damn mask off,” he grumbled as he readjusted the oxygen mask over her nose and mouth. It took her a second to realize how hoarse his voice sounded, and she looked up at him questioningly. “This round,” Steve explained, “could fly. When they took off they left behind a toxic vapor. It’s why you couldn’t breathe.” She raised her hand off the bed to point at him. “I’m still coughing, but I’m okay.”

Natasha could see the fear in his eyes—one of his past and the asthma that had plagued him. She wished she’d been able to stay conscious to comfort him, but she could read the monitors hanging above her bed just enough to know that her oxygen levels were not great. She wasn’t really sure how she’d managed to stay conscious during the fight since she remembered the burning in lungs started almost immediately.

A slightly woozy Bruce entered her room and immediately went for her chart. His tired eyes flickered back and forth between the notes written in her file and the current readings on the monitors. “Few more hours,” he said. “Then I think we can let you rest at home after that, but you’re not leaving your bed once you get there. Stay off your feet for as long as you can.”

“I’ll make sure of it,” Steve promised.

Natasha ignored his traditional overprotectiveness to catch a glimpse at the clock. It was a little before six in the evening. The drones had appeared around one, two hours before everyone was supposed to leave for Asgard. It also meant she’d spent about four hours unconscious. 

Again, she tried to talk and ask a question. And again, only coughs came out of her, causing both Bruce and Steve to stare her down. “You’re the only one who was seriously hurt,” Steve answered, and she was grateful that they knew each other well enough that he could anticipate what she was going to ask. “Thor and Tony were able to fly out of it, Clint was up high, and it didn’t affect the Big Guy. By the time Phil figured out what the gas was, it was already too late.”

The door to her room opened once more, and this time it was Thor who entered. “She has awoken,” he greeted. Natasha gave him a barely-there finger wave and a small nod to Jane Foster, who was right behind him. “You should know by now,” he said as he leaned in toward her, “that you frighten us greatly when you end up in a bed like this.”

She gave a small shrug before mouthing the word _sorry_ , finally learning the trick that talking wasn’t the greatest of ideas right now. 

Thor waved her off with one of his large hands. “We will leave for Asgard when you have recovered. Everyone will understand that the wedding festivities were postponed because of battle. Midgard is one of the nine realms, and I am charged with protecting it as much as I am with marrying my betrothed to one day inherit my father’s throne.”

“It’s cool,” Jane agreed. “I mean, not that you’re hurt or anything, I’m just happy to postpone going for a few hours.” Thor looked back at her with an exasperated expression. Jane raised her hands in front of her. “You know I love you and I’m thrilled to marry you, but we’ve had about nine hundred discussions about how I don’t want to deal with all this pomp and circumstance.” Thor sighed heavily, and Jane took one of his hands in hers. “C’mon, let’s go have conversation number nine-hundred-and-one about this.”

Natasha turned to Steve and showed him a fist with her index and middle fingers over her thumb—the finger spelling for _n_. “She’s with Darcy and Clint,” Steve answered. “I made them both swear to feed her an actual dinner.” Natasha knew Clint had a habit of falling back on carnie food when he was stressed, and she did not want her three-year-old daughter’s supper to consist solely of a funnel cake.

Bruce closed her file with a smack of the metal cover over the pages. “Rest,” he ordered. “No one will release you tonight if you don’t, and since we’re probably not leaving till tomorrow, I know you’d want to spend one more night at home with Nadia before we all go.”

Steve let out a low whistle. “Playing dirty, Doctor.”

Bruce shrugged. “Just keying in on the proper motivation for my patient,” he explained before leaving the room.

Steve pulled up a chair so he could sit at her side. If he hadn’t done that yet, it meant he’d been too preoccupied to sit and be still. Natasha felt the need to apologize to the medical staff in charge of her care.

His fingers fanned into her curls. “Go back to sleep. Everyone’s safe. Tony’s already working up a post-game analysis. Phil’s doing paperwork. You just saw Thor and Bruce. Clint’s fine, and he’s got Nadia. Rest.”

It didn’t take much convincing to follow his order. She felt incredibly weak, and like Bruce said, she wanted to be able to spend as much time with her daughter as she could before leaving for Asgard.

* * *

Three hours later, Natasha’s lungs had cleared up enough that the medical staff was willing to let her rest at home. Steve got her settled into bed; she’d have to spend the night sitting up if she didn’t want to cough non-stop. Natasha noticed how he was trying to play off a few coughs of his own, even if he swore he was fine.

There was a ten minute debate on the merits of collecting Nadia from Clint and Phil’s. Clint had texted an hour ago that the girl fell asleep on his lap while watching _Sesame Street_. Natasha could easily picture her best friend calling on his sniper skills to stay completely still so as not to disturb his sleeping niece, and she was sure he’d be willing to do so all night long if asked because on the list of who loved Nadia most, Clint only trailed behind the girl’s parents.

In the end, Steve went to go get her. It took the whole time he was gone for Natasha to strip down to a tank top and underwear. She tried not to think about what would’ve happened to her and Steve today if they didn’t have enhanced bodies. She also tried not to think about what would happen the next time the drones came to visit. She wasn’t really successful at doing either.

Thankfully, she soon had a distraction as Steve came into the room with Nadia against his chest. She wore the backup pair of pajamas stashed at Clint and Phil’s, cotton t-shirt and shorts that were covered with blue flowers. Gently, Steve positioned Nadia to sleep between the two of them. It wasn’t something they let their daughter do very often. Both of them were prone to nightmares and while it’d been a few years since Steve smashed a headboard in two from a night terror, they didn’t want to take any chances. Under their bed was a pillow and sleeping bag that Nadia could make use of if she felt the need to sleep in the same room as her parents. Being her mother’s clone, she was already stealthy at a young age and there was a time or two when Steve or Natasha would wake up to find their daughter asleep on the floor next to the bed without hearing her come in. Usually Nadia was only able to pull this off when her parents were exhausted from a fight, but Steve’d already voiced fears about her sneaking out when she was sixteen.

As soon as Nadia hit the mattress, she moved to monkey cling around Natasha’s left leg in her sleep. Natasha lightly ran fingers through her daughter’s red curls so she wouldn’t wake her. Steve changed into a too-tight t-shirt and a pair of sleep pants and settled his broad frame on the bed as gently as possible. He propped his pillows behind his back so he could sit up in bed next to Natasha, but she shook her head.

“Lay down,” she whispered. “One of us deserves a good night’s sleep.” Reluctantly, he did so. He turned on his side so that Nadia was between his chest and Natasha’s leg, one hand resting on the girl’s left arm. She twitched in her sleep at the contact, but didn’t wake. 

Natasha knew that she, too, should get some rest. It wouldn’t take much effort for her to drop back into sleep as quickly as Steve had, but the following day brought a trip to Asgard for Thor and Jane’s wedding. They would be gone for a week, and both Steve and Natasha had agreed early on that they wouldn’t take Nadia with them. While Thor swore up and down that his brother was locked away and had no magic to use, Natasha didn’t trust the situation. There was still a small voice that worried her daughter would disappear one morning, just like the magic spell that created her and vanished from Natasha’s body around the time of Nadia’s birth. It was just too dangerous in her mind.

But for tonight, everyone was safe. The three of them survived another day, and for the next eight hours, they would be wrapped around each other. Natasha clung to the comfort of that as she finally allowed herself to go back to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, as always, to **the_wordbutler** for aiding my words.

“Oh, hi, Mama.”

Natasha stirred at her daughter’s greeting and at Nadia sitting up in the bed. She took a breath to say something back, but all that came out was a cough. Thankfully, this one didn’t burn through her entire body, but it was still uncomfortable. She swallowed and tried again. “Morning, baby. You sleep okay?”

The girl smiled and nodded at first as she pushed curls out of her face, but once she realized her surroundings, her face fell. “Oh no.”

“What’s wrong, Bug?” Steve asked, his eyes still shut and face half-buried in his pillow.

“I missed it,” the girl pouted.

“Missed what?” Natasha responded. 

“I got to sleep in your bed and I missed it,” she answered with a sad and pouty bottom lip.

“Nadia, you were here the whole night,” Steve reassured. “I promise.” When his words did nothing to reassure the girl, he sighed. “Tell you what, when Mama and I get back from Uncle Thor’s wedding, you can spend the night in our bed again, okay?”

“Okay,” the girl agreed while sticking out a tiny finger. Steve smiled as he completed the ritual of the sacred pinky promise. As soon as they shook on the deal, Nadia bolted out of the bed.

“Where are you going?” Natasha asked.

Nadia stopped on the spot, turned back to her parents, and pulled down on the front of her sleep shirt. “I have to piss,” she answered, hissing the last two letters like a snake.

“You are not allowed to say that word,” Steve admonished in his Cap tone of voice.

Nadia’s eyes went wide, and she froze. “Sorry,” she apologized meekly before bouncing around again. “But I really have to go.”

“Use our bathroom,” Natasha directed with a wave of her hand, and Nadia quickly ran away, her feet slapping at the tile floor.

Steve groaned as he sat up. “You think it’s even worth going after Tony for teaching her that?”

“What makes you so sure it was him?”

“It was him or Clint, and I’ve seen Clint nearly bite his own tongue clean off censoring his language around her.” Natasha tried to chuckle at the truth of the comment, but could only cough instead. Steve’s hand rubbed up and down her spine and she sensed him waiting to ask for the millionth time if she was alright, but Nadia interrupted him.

“Daddy, help me!”

He sighed. “One day she’ll be big enough to use the bathroom all by herself, right?”

“Supposedly,” Natasha answered. “And you’ll hate every second of it.” He didn’t bother acknowledging the truth as he got out of bed to help their daughter.

With the room to herself, Natasha let her head fall back against the wall above the bed. She went through a quick evaluation of her body—a few bruises still fading, no sore muscles, and the only source of pain was her lungs. She tried to condition her body to treat it like a rib injury: only take shallow breaths. 

“Doctor Banner is at the door,” JARVIS announced.

“Let him in,” Natasha answered. She briefly considered trying to quickly pull on some pants, but after over four years together as a team, they’d all seen each other in next to nothing enough that Bruce seeing her in her underwear wouldn’t be a big deal. “Back here,” she announced loud enough for her voice to carry, which of course sent her into a coughing fit.

Bruce shot her a disapproving look as he entered the bedroom. “Not sure I like the sound of that.”

Natasha waved off his concern. “I’ll be fine,” she answered hoarsely as she grabbed a bottle of water from her nightstand. Bruce rolled his eyes as he sat down on the bed next to her.

“Uncle Bruce!” Nadia shouted as she flew out of the bathroom.

“Get back here and wash your hands, please,” Steve admonished.

Bruce nodded in agreement. “You can’t help me with my patient,” he said as he jerked his head in Natasha’s direction, “unless you wash your hands.”

“With soap,” Steve added.

Quickly, Nadia darted back into the bathroom and clamored for her father to hold her up to the sink. Once her hands were clean, she bolted for her bedroom. She returned a few seconds later with the play doctor’s bag Bruce had given her for her third birthday two weeks ago smacking against the front of her legs. She tossed the bag onto the bed before climbing up herself. Opening the black bag, which matched Bruce’s, she looked expectantly at her uncle for instructions. “Get out your stethoscope,” he said gently as he pulled out his own from his bag. Unlike Bruce’s, Nadia’s was brightly colored and made mostly of plastic. Bruce showed her how to put it in her ears and told her to put the instrument’s chestpiece next to his so they could listen to the same thing. 

Natasha obediently took deep breaths, as much as she could, when asked and sat patiently as Bruce guided Nadia through the exam. When they were finished, Bruce sat back and pulled his stethoscope from his ears, and Nadia followed suit. “Well?” he asked his young student. “What do you think?” Nadia’s only answer was to give an exaggerated shrug. Bruce smiled and turned his attention back to his patient. “Well, I think as long as you take it easy today and tomorrow, I don’t see a need to postpone our trip to Asgard any longer.”

“I’m sure Thor will be happy to hear that,” Steve said. “Thanks for checking her out.”

“No problem,” Bruce said as he gathered his things. As he stood, he turned to Nadia. “Do I get a hug goodbye since I won’t see you for a week?”

The girl’s face whipped toward Natasha. “I don’t want you to go,” she said quietly, fear evident in her eyes.

Natasha moved to wrap her arm around her daughter’s tiny shoulders, and Nadia quickly snuggled up against her side. “We talked about this. You get to go play at Mister Jasper’s, and then your daddy and I and all your uncles and Aunt Pepper will be back before you know it.”

“I still don’t want you to go,” Nadia pouted quietly into Natasha’s side. And Natasha found it hard to disagree with her. 

“You still better hug your Uncle Bruce,” Steve warned. “You know what happens to him when he gets his feelings hurt.”

“He Hulks,” Nadia answered. No one was quite sure who explained Bruce’s transformations to her like that, but there was no telling her otherwise once the story was established in her mind. Reluctantly, she peeled away from her mother’s side, climbed on top of Natasha’s legs, and went into Bruce’s arms for a hug. When she pulled away, she kissed him on the cheek before settling back against Natasha’s hip.

Bruce gave her a soft smile before turning to Steve. “I’ll tell Thor that we should all be ready to leave by three. And then I’ll go help Pepper keep Tony to that schedule.”

“Good luck with that,” Natasha replied.

Bruce nodded. “And if you start to feel worse…”

“I know who to call. Thanks for checking me out.”

Steve motioned that he’d follow Bruce to the door, but the doctor waved him off. “You don’t need to walk me out. I’ll see you guys later.”

Once he was gone, Steve looked down at the pair of them. “Breakfast? What are we thinking?”

“Not eggs,” Nadia groused.

“Daddy needs eggs after yesterday,” Steve answered. “But that doesn’t mean you have to eat them.”

“Pancakes?” the girl tried.

“No,” Natasha answered. “Jasper won’t be thrilled if we drop you off hyped up on syrup.”

“Cereal?” Nadia asked.

“With a banana,” Steve added.

“Okay,” she sighed.

“You want to help me cook?” he asked. Nadia shook her head no, and burrowed further against Natasha. “Okay,” he said, a flash of concern crossing his face. “I’ll yell when breakfast is ready.”

When he was gone, Natasha began to run fingers through her daughter’s hair. “What’s wrong?”

“I want to go with you.”

“You can’t, baby. It’s too dangerous.”

Nadia pulled away to scowl at her mother. “I’m not a baby.”

“I know,” Natasha sighed. “But you’re the only baby I’ll ever have, which means you’ll always be my baby, even when you’re a big girl.” Nadia didn’t seem entirely pleased with that answer, but didn’t argue the point anymore. They idly chatted about Nadia’s upcoming days in preschool, what adventures she’d have with Jasper’s three daughters, and Natasha played along for one final doctor’s exam before Steve called Nadia out to the common area.

Steve entered the bedroom a few minutes later, a plate in each hand. “Breakfast in bed?”

“Don’t leave her out there by herself.”

He rolled his eyes at her. “Darcy showed up, I’m giving them some alone time.”

At that Natasha accepted a plate from him and cut into her share of the giant omelet he’d made. “I thought she wasn’t going to have some big drawn out goodbye.”

Steve shrugged as he settled into bed next to her and dug into his first bite. “I guess she saw it as some sort of sign since we got delayed that they were supposed to hang out together. Or at least I think that’s what she was trying to tell me.”

Natasha snickered. Darcy had made an amazing nanny for the last few years, and she and Steve were sad to see her go, even if there were a few times they’d come to some strange sight like Darcy having an indoor beach party in January or her teaching their then eighteen-month-old how to duckface for selfies. “She crying?”

“Which one?”

“Either,” Natasha replied.

“No, but it’s probably only a matter of time. Darcy asked me last week if it was weird to have a three-year-old as one of your best friends. I told her I didn’t see why that was a problem.”

Natasha smiled, but couldn’t help but feel a nagging concern that’d been building for weeks. Darcy was leaving to serve as Jane’s lady-in-waiting or whatever the Asgardian version of that was. Change was not something the young woman dealt with easily, and even though it mean spending more time with Jane and Thor, Natasha worried about how Darcy would handle the whole thing.

“So,” Steve said with a smirk towards Natasha’s chest, “should I kiss it till you feel better?”

Natasha looked down at the band-aid Nadia had placed on the swell of her left breast in hopes of healing her cough. “Keep it in your pants, Rogers. We’ll be kid-free for a week. You can wait a few more hours.”

* * *

By noon, Darcy had given her farewell and the Rogers family was pulling up to the Sitwell residence in Queens. Nadia didn’t seem to fazed by Darcy’s goodbye; either she was able to recognize the pattern of _yes, Uncle Thor goes away from time to time but he always comes back_ or she was too focused on her parents leaving to think about Darcy.

The drive out to Queens was relatively quiet. Natasha knew that if she hadn't been in the car, Steve would play some toddler-friendly music. But ever since the incident a few months back where they were stuck on the Brooklyn Bridge and Natasha’d heard a few too many _EIEIO_ s, her husband never played music of any kind if she was in the vehicle. Instead, Steve tried to prod the two into conversation. He was more successful with Nadia; they talked about what kind of lunches she’d like to take to preschool, an upcoming baseball game they were going to attend, and called out shapes in the clouds. Natasha mentally ran through everything that’d been packed for Nadia in her little suitcase to make sure she wouldn’t need anything. It’d been a struggle to talk her down to only two stuffed toys—Black Widow and Captain America, at Steve’s suggestion—but they’d made it work. Natasha’d tried to pack as many flavors of their home—the blanket Nadia came home with as a newborn, her daughter’s favorite book, a little photo album with pictures of her parents, uncles, and aunt—as she could without going overboard. “It’s only a week,” Steve kept reminding her, even if she saw her anxiety mirrored in his eyes.

When they pulled up to the Sitwell residence, Natasha helped Nadia out of the car while Steve unloaded her little suitcase, sleeping bag, pillow, and spare booster seat. Nadia took one look at the strange house in front of them and immediately asked Natasha to pick her up in Russian.

It killed Natasha to shake her head, but she did it anyway. “You need to learn new places with your own feet,” she answered. She reached down to take Nadia’s hand and gently tugged her forward. “C’mon. Let’s go play with your new friends.”

Since everyone was going to Asgard, Jasper had volunteered to keep Nadia with his family while Steve and Natasha were gone. His wife, Anne, stayed at home during the day, and they had three daughters ranging in age from ten to fifteen: Izzy, Olivia, and Erin. Natasha knew Jasper would protect her daughter, and it was beneficial for Nadia to stay with girls who were used to having a parent go away for missions and could help the three-year-old cope.

Jasper had the door open before they reached the front stoop. “Hey, Nadia,” he greeted.

“Hi, Mister Jasper,” she replied quietly.

He waved them inside and called for everyone to meet them in the foyer. At the sound of the three sisters bounding down the stairs, Nadia immediately ducked behind Natasha’s legs and clung for dear life. Natasha reached down and nudged Nadia out of hiding so introductions could be made.

Anne knelt down in front of the girl. “We have all your favorite foods, the girls got out all their toys for you to play with, and we found our DVD of _The Little Mermaid_.”

Nadia’s eyes lit up briefly at the mention of her favorite movie, but worry quickly fell back into place. “I don’t like Ursula.”

“We can skip those parts,” Anne reassured.

“Do you want to see your bed?” the youngest of the Sitwell girls asked. “We’re sharing my bunk bed.”

Nadia looked up at Natasha with big eyes, not wanting to leave her side. “I’ll go with you,” Steve offered. “We can unpack your things.”

The five of them—Steve, Nadia, and the three Sitwell daughters—trounced up the stairs. Natasha jerked away from the contact on her upper arm, and Jasper took a step back. “I know it’s hard the first time you leave a kid behind,” he told her, “but it has to happen sometime.”

“Yeah,” Natasha muttered. “She doesn’t have any allergies. McClellan said she’d fill in as physician while Bruce is out of town—“

Jasper waved off her rambling. “Steve already sent a briefing memo. Pretty sure he had Phil help him write it.”

Natasha nodded before pointing down to the sky blue sleeping bag. “If she gets scared, she’ll want to sleep in your room. You don’t have to let her if you don’t want to, but she knows the rule is to sleep in her sleeping bag and not try and get into bed with you.”

Anne smiled at her. “Smart idea. I spent too many nights with little feet digging into my ribs.”

Jasper smirked. “They never did that to me when I was home.”

“That’s because their nightmares weren’t nearly as terrifying as your snoring.”

He rolled his eyes, but the humor was lost on Natasha. “Nat,” Jasper said in his patented _I’m too tired for this shit_ tone of voice, “she’s going to be fine. Yeah, it might be rough the first day or two, but it’s going to be okay. I even talked McCoy into bringing her kid over so she could have a playdate with someone her own age.”

Natasha bit her lip instead of spilling more words, like how Nadia scared easily and worried too often, the price she paid for knowing exactly how easily superheroes could get hurt. How she was quiet and liked to cuddle in the morning, but on some nights could wear herself out to the point of being a hellion and refusing to sleep. How she mixed up her English with Russian when she got distracted, and how when she felt shy in public she only wanted to sign her words. There was an entire novel Natasha could write about the ins and outs of Nadezhda Romanova Rogers, and the Sitwells didn’t even know the first chapter.

But instead, she just nodded. “Mind if I go up?” she asked. The plan was for Steve and Nat to stay a while to make sure Nadia got settled, but that was increasingly sounding like a bad idea. Because if Natasha didn’t walk away soon, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to.

Anne waved her on and directed her to Izzy’s bedroom. Inside, Natasha found Steve sitting on the ground with Nadia in his lap. Next to them, the youngest Sitwell read a story. Steve’s eyes met Natasha’s and she gave an imperceptible shake of the head. His shoulders sank slightly, but he nodded. “Izzy?” he interrupted. “Would you mind giving us a minute so we can say bye?”

The ten-year-old shrugged and said, “Sure,” while Nadia whined a “No.” 

Steve pulled the girl tightly against his chest as Natasha sat on the floor beside them. “Remember what we talked about?” he asked quietly. Nadia managed to free her hands from his grasp and held up seven fingers. “That’s right,” Steve said. “We made Uncle Thor promise that we’d only be gone for seven days. So starting tomorrow, you can start counting down the days till we get back.”

“But I don’t know how,” Nadia mourned.

“The girls can help you,” Natasha told her. At the reassurance, Nadia pried herself from Steve’s hold to launch at Natasha’s lap. She hugged her daughter fiercely and whispered how much she’d miss Nadia and an _I love you_ in Russian. 

“Me, too,” Steve said.

They sat quietly on the floor for a minute until Steve stood and held out a hand to help Natasha up. This time, she did give in to Nadia’s wish and carried her in her arms as the three of them went back downstairs. “Thanks again for watching her,” Steve said when they were all gathered in the foyer. 

“It’s our pleasure,” Anne replied.

“Give kisses,” Steve quietly ordered.

Nadia leaned up to kiss Natasha on the mouth before practically throwing herself out of her mother’s arms at her father. Steve caught her easily and gave her kiss. “You know how much we love you, right?” Nadia threw her arms open and he smiled. “And so much more.”

Once their traditional goodbye phrase was spoken, Steve set Nadia down. Natasha didn’t miss the strain in his shoulders as he did so, but he put on a brave front. She saw their daughter’s eyes start to fill with tears, and suddenly she couldn’t breathe. She was awash in memories of being tiny and her parents vanishing suddenly. Natasha wanted to reassure Nadia once more that—barring some all-out sneak attack by an imprisoned Loki—they’d be back, but all that came out was a coughing fit. Steve nudged her to the door and made a quick apology for Natasha’s health, the excuse they used to make a quick exit. 

Steve drove them around the corner and out of sight of the house before pulling over and putting the car in park. Natasha’s coughing had calmed down, but her eyes stung with tears. She could blame it on her lungs, and Steve would let her get away with it, but they would both know it was a lie.

“We can’t take her with us,” Steve said. “Do you want her anywhere near Loki?”

“No,” she sniffled. “Do we really have to go to the wedding?”

“They came to ours,” he reasoned with a shrug. “And we said we would.” He twisted his grip around the steering wheel so hard that it squeaked. “But if you don’t want to—“

“Drive before I change my mind.”

By three, the Avengers plus Jane, Darcy, and Pepper managed to successfully gather at the common floor of the Tower without running too late. Thor promised that they’d be seen to while on Asgard and wouldn’t need to pack anything. The only exception to the rule was for them to bring their tactical gear since the Avengers were expected to spar with some of the more renowned Asgardian warriors as some sort of pre-wedding celebration.

Together they all moved out to the landing pad that was typically reserved for a Quinjet but that was empty for the moment. They each did one last check to make sure they had everything they needed, and Phil, Thor, and Steve did a final headcount to make sure everyone was present. Thor pulled Jane and Darcy both against his broad chest. Tony gave him a strange look before doing the same to Pepper and then not-so-subtly hooking a couple of fingers into one of Bruce’s belt loops. Phil and Clint inched closer together, but made no contact. And Steve lifted his arms from his side slightly in a silent invitation for Natasha to step into his protection if she wanted. She saw his fingers twitch as she did so—a sign that he wished he was holding his shield. She burrowed her face into his chest and felt slightly better when his arms wrapped around her shoulders.

Thor bellowed into the air and a split second later, they were all taken up in a beam of light. Part of Natasha wanted to watch the light show all around them so she could tell Nadia what it was like, but instead, she tried to press herself closer to Steve and silently wished it was over. The trip was fast enough, and a few seconds later they were all coughed up into a round room. 

A large man covered in gold armor with an even larger sword nodded at the group. “Welcome to Asgard.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Constant thanks to **the_wordbuler** for making me words readable.

Despite leaving in the middle of the Earth’s afternoon, it was just after sunrise on Asgard. Thor led his friends out of the chamber they’d arrived in after introducing them all to Heimdall. Outside, there were five large horses waiting for them. Since they were sizable animals, Thor encouraged them to pair off to ride back to the castle. Tony complained about how riding could possibly impede his plans with Pepper later as he stuffed the suitcase armor into one of the pouches strapped the horse’s back. Thor ignored the comment as he pulled Jane up to sit behind him. Clint helped Phil up on a steed before climbing up and plastering himself to Phil’s back, causing the handler to roll his eyes. Bruce and Darcy looked at each other and shrugged, but not before Darcy groped herself and let out a mournful sigh.

“What are you doing?” Bruce asked with raised eyebrows, not quite capable of making eye contact with her.

“Preparing myself for all the bouncing,” she answered.

Steve took his place on the one remaining animal. Natasha nimbly climbed up after him and pulled herself flush against his back, a position they were accustomed to. At least once a week, weather permitting, they spent an hour or two riding around town on Steve’s bike.

Once everyone was ready, Thor took off with a yell and a nudge of his foot to the beast’s side. They crossed the distance on a translucent bridge that cast of light of every color; ahead of them was a golden city sparkling in the sunlight. Everything looked straight out of the Disney movies Nadia loved to watch, and Natasha immediately felt yet another pang of missing her daughter.

They entered the city gates and found themselves surrounded by cheering crowds. Thor waved regally to the people, and Tony was happy to follow suit. The rest nodded politely, most of them used to being thrust into publicity situations. Darcy, who somehow managed to smuggle her phone to the alien world, recorded video. Natasha was fairly certain selfies with random Asgardians would be a new past time of Darcy’s.

After a twenty-minute parade through the streets, the group arrived at the palace. Attendants rushed up to greet them, some tending to the horses, others introducing themselves as servants to the guests of honor. The pair assigned to Steve and Natasha—named Orvar and Margit—offered to take the bags they had with them, but they preferred to keep hold of their tactical gear themselves. The attendants led Steve and Natasha to where they would be staying during their visit.

It was a bedroom decorated in shades of gold and a deep blue-green. A large bed covered in pillows and silk sheets occupied most of the space. Open doors let in sunshine and offered a balcony with, most assuredly, a stunning view. There was a large closet off to the side and a bathroom next to it.

“Do you require anything?” Margit asked.

“I think we’re good,” Steve answered with a smile. “Thank you.”

She nodded in acknowledgement. “You are requested to change into our traditional garb and join your comrades in an hour for a tour of the palace followed by a banquet.”

Instinctively, Steve looked at his watch, but Natasha pointed to a clock on the wall. “Thank you,” she said to the servants to dismiss them. Once they closed the door behind them, Natasha looked back of Steve with a raised eyebrow. “Whole hour? What should we do?”

“Bed?” he asked.

She nodded and they both began to strip down to their underwear. The silk sheets were obscenely decadent as they slid between them. They curled up on their sides and Steve wrapped a strong arm around her waist before pulling her back against his chest. “Think you’ll be able to wake us up in forty minutes?” he asked.

She meant to answer _Probably_ but once again fell into a coughing fit. This one, at least, didn’t burn, but she still swore viciously in Russian at the frustration of it all. Sighing, she wiggled out of Steve’s grasp and once more propped herself up with pillows. Steve started to follow suit, but Natasha pushed on his shoulder. “You need sleep. You’re probably still exhausted from yesterday and had to share a bed with a three-year-old.”

“She only kicked me in the gut twice,” Steve argued, but he still slid over to pillow his head on Natasha’s thighs. She ran her fingers through his hair and closed her eyes. She waited to hear his breathing even out, but instead his hand start rubbing up and down her leg while he turned his face to kiss her thigh. Grabbing a fistful of hair, she yanked his mouth away from her leg.

“I thought you wanted to sleep.”

“We could not sleep,” he murmured. “You know most of the others are doing the same thing right now.”

Natasha groaned. “I don’t want to think about that at all. And besides, if we had sex right now, I’d just cough the entire time. Worth it to you?”

“If I say yes, you’re going to kick me, right?”

She tugged his hair again. “Go to sleep. You’re no good to me if you pass out during this feast we’re having tonight.” Within minutes, they were both sound asleep, something that happened often for the both of them—especially Steve—the day after a fight. Enhanced bodies were handy in battle, but required more food and energy, which resulted in a constantly-full refrigerator and a lot of unapologetic napping.

Natasha’s internal alarm clock woke her up at the forty minute mark, and she jostled Steve until he was awake. Making their way to the closet, they found the space filled with offerings of tunics, dresses, and even armor. Natasha settled on a dark gray, short-sleeved shirt that hung halfway down her thighs, black leggings and boots, and a leather belt. The armor felt a bit much, so she left it behind. Steve unsurprisingly chose a pair of brown trousers with a navy shirt. He hummed pleasantly when he found the chest plate actually fit him.

“You have seen Asgardians before, right?” Natasha asked. “Should you really be surprised it fit?”

Steve gave a small, sheepish smile. “Never thought I could miss not being the biggest one around, but it might be fun.”

They left their room and walked down the hall. There were a series of bedrooms off the corridor that was reserved for the Avengers, as well as a large common area. In the open space, Darcy was excitedly chatting with Phil about her new quarters and its amenities. Natasha saw Clint through an open set of double doors and went to join him on the balcony. He, too, wore a dark gray tunic with black pants and when he saw her outfit, he shook his head. “I had it on first. Go change.” She rolled her eyes, but didn’t respond otherwise. “You okay?” he asked.

“Getting there,” she answered. “Should have clear lungs again by the morning.”

“You scared the shit out of all of us, you know.”

She smiled at him. “Have to keep you on your toes somehow.”

“Next time do it without nearly suffocating.” He turned his gaze back out to the open expanse in front of them that looked over the city. “How’d it go dropping off—“

“We’re not discussing her here,” Natasha warned with a deadly serious tone. Clint gave her an exasperated look, which she ignored. “I don’t know which walls have ears. We are not discussing her here.”

“Fine,” he muttered.

She heard steps approach them from behind and didn’t need to turn around to know it was Phil. “Everyone’s ready,” he announced. “Time to start the tour.”

They spent hours wandering around the palace. Thor led them through the corridors and rooms, stating facts and history as they went. Clint and Tony were immediately bored unless the room held weapons or something equally shiny. Natasha knew that Phil, despite his bland facial expression, was mentally logging the information to file a report later. Steve, Bruce, and Pepper chatted about the art and architecture while Natasha listened to everything around her.

As the group walked down one of the large hallways, there was a set of steps to their right with guards lining the staircase. Its destination was shrouded in shadows as the steps curved down and away from the main corridor.

“What’s down there?” Bruce asked as he eyed the guards.

Thor momentarily made eye contact with Natasha before answering, “That way lies our most fortified prison cells.”

“So where they hold Loki?” Tony questioned.

“Verily,” Thor answered.

The group silently stood and stared at the entryway to the prison until Phil cleared his throat. “I personally would be fine with never seeing him again. Thor, where are we going next?”

Almost everyone moved on, but Natasha hung back a second to take in weaknesses and possible exit and entry points. A hand gently wrapped around her wrist, and Steve tugged her forward. She looked at him and opened her mouth to argue, but he gave a barely-there shake of his head. “C’mon,” he said.

The tour ended an hour later in, unsurprisingly, a banquet hall. This one was modest compared to a few they’d walked through as a preview to where the wedding would be. But despite the small size, there was enough food to feed a group of superheroes and Asgardians.

Thor let loose a cheerful bellow when he realized the room already had guests: Lady Sif and the Warriors Three. There were backslaps and well wishes exchanged before Thor reacquainted his Asgardian brothers–in-arms with their Midgardian counterparts. They’d all met at one point or another, sometimes in battle. Natasha didn’t miss the slight twitch in Phil’s eye when he realized they’d all be spending the next few hours together.

Over one of the more delicious meals Natasha’d had, endless tales were exchanged. It seemed everyone was expected to produce a story detailing either an impressive victory or embarrassing defeat. They went around the room, each person sharing a memory. Some were more appreciated than others—the detriment of Jane’s miscalculations in a journal piece was lost on a few—while others were so big and bombastic, Natasha was concerned the giant table of food was going to be overturned.

As time passed, Natasha watched Steve eat an impressive amount of food. Each time he reached to refill his plate, he’d flash a sheepish grin her way, and she’d shake her head. But her husband nearly choked on a mouthful when Volstagg started speaking to them.

“How is your daughter doing? I have young ones myself. I cannot imagine what you two went through with the curse—“

He grimaced as soon as the word left his mouth, and Sif tried to hide the fact that she’d kicked him under the table. Natasha felt her blood run cold, and she shot a quick look at Thor, who was hiding his face inside a wine chalice.

“What curse?” Steve asked, his voice low and dangerous.

The only Asgardian who knew how Nadia came to be was her Uncle Thor, or so Natasha had believed. Natasha’d asked him midway through her pregnancy to tell the people of Asgard that she’d miscarried. The last thing she wanted was for Loki to come after the child he’d magicked into existence.

When the Warriors Three and Lady Sif visited a month before Nadia was born, Sif hinted at the fact that she knew Loki was interested in the particular magic spell that could have caused Natasha’s pregnancy. That was when Steve decided, completely on his own, that their new cover story would be that he’d gotten Natasha pregnant just before Loki came to attack, making his magic a waste.

Natasha had thought Sif had actually bought the lie, or was at least willing to keep their secret private, but apparently not.

Sif pursed her lips before answering the question. “Captain, it is known how the Lady Widow’s daughter came to be.”

“You mean _my_ daughter,” Steve challenged.

“I fear this is my fault,” Thor confessed as he set down the golden cup. “While the Lady Natasha was in the unexplainable sleep after Nadia’s birth, I cried out to my mother for help. In my desperation, I admitted that it was our people’s magic which had caused the situation, and that therefore, we should be responsible in amending things.”

“Who knows?” Clint ground out.

“My family and my close friends,” Thor answered. “It is no concern to anyone else.”

“It’s no concern to your family,” Pepper spat back.

Phil, his expression one reserved for serious circumstances, asked, “Is that confirmation that your brother is aware of all of this?”

“Aye,” Thor responded, regret evident in his voice.

But Natasha barely heard that. She couldn’t hardly listen to anything over the sound of blood rushing in her ears. Her limbs were growing increasingly cold, so she did the one thing she’d spent most of her life doing: she shut down her emotions. Compartmentalization took over and boxed up the feelings that threatened to consume her. She felt Steve’s eyes flash her direction, a silent request for her to jump into the conversation and do something about the revelation, but she remained stock still. The longer she went quiet, the more nervous eyes flicked her direction. Not knowing what to say or how to handle finding out that Loki’d known for possibly three years that his magic had worked, she stood and left the banquet hall.

Even in her distracted state, her brain was able to get her back to her room. Numbly, she stripped out of her garments and crawled once more between the sheets. Part of her mind noted that someone had made the bed while they were out, and that same part began to fear how much more of their privacy would be invaded during this week.

Steve burst through the door ten minutes later, his jaw clamped shut in anger. He, too, removed his armor and clothing, but unlike Natasha, he redressed into the clothes he wore when they arrived on the planet that morning. “What are you doing?” he snapped when he realized how little she was wearing while curled up in bed. “We have to go back.”

“Why?”

“To protect her.”

“From what?” Natasha quietly questioned. “He already knows she exists and how she got here.”

Steve sighed and sat on the bed, his back to her. “We have to do something,” he grumbled.

“I did do something; I told Thor to leave it alone and tell his brother that I’d lost the baby. You were the one—“

“What? You’re just supposed to hide the fact that there’s a small child living with you who also happens to look exactly like you?”

“Stacking lies on top of lies only makes things fall and crumble.”

“I didn’t tell a lie,” Steve argued. “I’m her father.”

“No, you’re not,” Natasha answered. She’d feel guilty in the morning for the way she saw his whole body deflated and the hurt laid bare on his face out of the corner of her eye, but her mind could only handle simple truths at the moment, and that was one of them. “You’re not her father and he knows it.”

* * *

 

Sunlight streamed through the opaque drapes covering the balcony doors, and Natasha watched the sky turn from black to vibrant pink. She should’ve slept like rock, since for the first time since before the drones attacked she could’ve slept on her back, but she was wide awake all night long. Steve’d left the room after she’d made her statement and was gone for two hours. When he’d returned, Natasha was still curled up in the same spot in bed. Silently, he’d stripped and crawled between the sheets, positioning himself with his back to her.

Natasha absolutely deserved the silent treatment, and she desperately wished he’d been able to keep up with it, but in his sleep, his body instinctively rolled over and reached out for her. She’d stiffened at the contact, but Steve just unconsciously nuzzled further against her.

When the sun finally rose past the horizon, Steve stirred. Out of habit, he hummed against her skin before kissing her shoulder. But he must’ve remembered her last words she’d said because he froze when his lips made contact.

“I meant genetically,” she whispered. “I hope you know that’s all I meant.” When he didn’t say anything, she faced him for the first time since dinner. “You are far and away the better parent. If it were just me around, she’d become this bitter, messed up person. A true clone of me.”

Steve dug his fingers into her hair, and she couldn’t resist leaning slightly into the feel of his palm on her cheek. “It’s so rare for me to see you absolutely terrified that I forget your instinct is to shove everyone away,” he said. “Don’t do that to me.”

Natasha swallowed and nodded; they, for the most part, remained content in the quiet and comfort of the bed. She settled her head on his chest and focused on the steady, slow rhythm of his heart. Once again, she was reminded of how much she didn’t deserve to have him around, but she was so grateful he was. “What do we do?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” he sighed as he ran a hand over his face. “Running back home probably wasn’t the greatest idea,” he admitted.

“Word would get back to Loki,” Natasha agreed. “He’d know he has us in the palm of his hand if he ever got free to pull something.”

“Let’s hope that never happens.”

“So, then what?” she asked as she sat up next to him. “Just act like nothing happened? Say something at dinner didn’t agree with me last night and I had to leave? They’ll know it’s a lie.”

“Do you really think we can’t trust Thor’s friends?”

Natasha shrugged. “They were willing to keep it a secret. Thor, on the other hand—”

“Thought you were dying and was desperate to keep that from happening. We all were,” Steve replied.

Before she could try and find something to say to that, there was a knock. Steve called for whoever it was to enter, and Clint barely cracked open the door. “Please tell me you’re wearing clothes.”

“Get in here,” Natasha answered.

Most people would not have noticed the lines of worry marking Clint’s face, but Natasha saw it plain as day. “What’s the plan?”

Steve looked up at Natasha and waited for her to make the call. Mentally, she ran through the options available to her. Most seemed simultaneously not enough and overboard considering they were visiting for a wedding. “Nothing,” she told them. “Just pretend nothing happened.” She watched Steve’s eyebrows rise and could feel Clint questioning her without looking over at him. Natasha ignored them both. “I’m getting cleaned up,” she announced as she climbed out of the bed.

It took a few minutes to figure out how to get the shower started, but the wait was worth it when Natasha stepped under the spray of three showerheads. She let the water pound away at her muscles in attempt to calm her nerves. Taking deep breaths, she was pleased that her lungs felt almost normal again.

She heard Steve open the door and cold air hit a moment later as he entered the shower. “Clint said they want us to spar in a couple hours. Feel up to it?” he asked as he moved under the spray with her.

“I’m fine with punching some Asgardians in the face today. You?” He nodded his head and she saw his jaw tighten. She reached up and ran her fingernails through his short-cropped hair and his eyes closed at the touch. “We okay?” she asked quietly.

Blue eyes opened to stare at her for a moment, causing her stomach to swim in a mess of emotions. “Clint also said breakfast was almost ready,” he said. “Wanna be late?”

* * *

 

The body fell at Natasha feet with a satisfying thud and a grunt, and she had to bite back a smirk. She looked up at Steve and he gave her a proud, little nod.

They were all in tactical gear in the outdoor practice field within the palace walls. Even Phil wore a tactical suit while giving some instruction on breaking out of holds to a ring of men and women in guard uniforms. Clint was showing up a dozen archers, Stark floated overhead to give practice to aerial attacks, Thor was directing the activities, and Steve and Natasha teamed up to spar against half a dozen guards at a time. Bruce was the only one not participating. He stood with Pepper off to the side, the pair watching everything around them. No one wanted to force Bruce to give up himself for some practice, but he did volunteer to do so from time to time. Thor assured him over breakfast that Asgardians had enough practice fighting aliens and the Hulk wouldn’t be anything to new them; therefore, it wouldn’t be necessary for Bruce to go through a transformation.

They spent hours in the yard sparring. Steve and Natasha paired up to take on those who were brave enough to face the duo. Many others stood around to make notes and observations about how the two warriors could fight so well in sync—and that’s exactly what they did. After four years of battling side by side, they moved with unconscious coordination. They ducked, kicked, punched, and rolled around each other without hesitation or thought. The pair fell into a peace that came with relying on each other with the added bonus of their lives not hanging in the balance.

Thor called a stop to the practice and, as was apparently the tradition, everyone was invited to a banquet hall to eat and share stories. Steve and Natasha stayed quiet during this round of swapping tales. In fact, most of the Avengers just politely listened as guard after guard told increasingly hyperbolic legends of their heroic deeds. Tony, of course, contributed a yarn or two, complete with wild gesticulations. Clint talked about some impossible shots he’d made like it was as easy as breathing. And Thor bragged about the valor and merit of each member of the Initiative.

Natasha wanted to feel the pride in her actions that the Asgardians did with regards to their history, but she couldn’t. If she took a life, it was either because she was ordered to or because it was necessary for her to survive. She couldn’t exactly take pride in her work. Since she joined S.H.I.E.L.D., her skills were used to pay back the debt she owed for the lives she’d ended. With the birth of her daughter, that sense of making good only increased. She didn’t want Nadia to ever know her mother as a ruthless assassin, even if it was the truth.

“The two of you are married, are you not?” The question came from across the banquet table and caught both Steve and Natasha off-guard.

Thor nodded and smiled. “Aye,” he answered for his friends. “I only hope my impending marriage will be as strong as theirs.”

Steve gave a nod at the compliment and rested a hand on Natasha’s thigh under the table. She tried to look appreciative, but still held some ire towards the Asgardian prince.

“If I may ask,” the man across the table pressed, “how did you woo your bride?”

Natasha wasn’t sure Steve was going to answer until the guards’ buddies began mocking him for being lonely and single. And if Natasha knew one thing about her husband, it was that he hated seeing someone being bullied.

“In battle,” Steve answered.

Tony, sitting nearby, shook his head. “Please, they might as well refer to sparring as foreplay.”

The guard ignored their friend’s comment, and his eyes lit up as he briefly glanced down the table to where a young woman was listening to one of Clint’s stories. Others around him picked up on the motion and once again ragged him for his crush. Steve, however, caught the young man’s eyes and threw him an encouraging wink. Natasha fought hard not to snort.

Once the meal broke up with gluttonous promises for a late, private dinner, everyone headed off to their rooms to groan over eating too much. Steve shut the door behind them when they entered their bedroom. Natasha rolled her neck and cringed at the pops and cracks it made from the few times someone had managed to throw her to the ground. She felt strong hands come up to knead her shoulders—a massage she was sure she’d have to reciprocate shortly or deal with puppy dog eyes.

“Lungs okay?” Steve asked. She nodded and hummed when his thumb pressed into a knot. His touch, as well as the sparring session, reminded her how little sleep she’d had in the last couple of days, and the more Steve caressed her shoulders, the more she felt like she was going to start swaying on her feet out of exhaustion. Natasha felt his mouth move towards her neck, but he jerked away when someone began pounding on their door, causing a spike of adrenaline to wake Natasha once more.

“Nat! Steve!” Darcy bellowed while trying to beat down the solid piece of wood.

Steve hurried over and yanked the door open to reveal a flustered and pale Darcy. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

Breathlessly she answered, “They’re turning Jane into an Asgardian.”


	4. Chapter 4

Natasha and Steve followed Darcy out to the common area of their wing in the Asgardian palace. Thor’s mother, Frigga, was there, comforting the assembled guests. “I assure you,” she said, “no harm will come to Lady Jane.”

Darcy snorted softly beside Natasha. “Yeah, because all the other times Asgardians have decided to fuck with humans’ lives, it’s always turned out super great.”

Despite the jab, Frigga held a polite face. “We are doing this for the benefit of Lady Jane but also for my son. Midgardian lives are but a brief span of time compared to our own. It was hard enough watching my son mope around the palace because his love was on another planet; I will not suffer through him in mourning for centuries. This is our wedding gift to them.”

“How long will the process take?” Phil asked.

Frigga shrugged. “I have never been witness to something like this. I assure you,” she cut in before the arguments could start, “that it has happened before and there are—“ Her voice cut out into gibberish, a rare thing that happened when All Speak couldn’t translate something to English. “—who have successfully completed the procedure before.”

“And Thor’s okay with this?” Darcy asked.

“Yes. He is nervous, but he agreed with the decision, as did Lady Jane. Thor is standing guard with Odin while this takes place. I told them I would stay with you all to reassure you and answer any questions you have.”

The last sentence is taken by most of them as a dismissal. A few broke off into their own groups to discuss things, while Bruce and Tony approached the queen. Natasha caught snippets of the conversation regarding concern for Jane’s scientific mind to remain intact. She heard enough of a positive answer to not be nervous about things, but couldn’t continue listening to the rest of the conversation due to Darcy turning to Steve. 

“You’ve been through something like this before, right? Getting turned into a bigger, better version of yourself?”

Steve gave her a small smile. “I’m a little familiar with the situation, yes.”

“Did it hurt?” Darcy asked.

“Yes,” he answered honestly. “But it was worth it. I would’ve been dead before I hit thirty from some cold virus if I hadn’t gone through the transformation.” He paused to shrug and sneak a glance at Natasha. “It led me to what I wanted out of life. It certainly wasn’t the exact path I would’ve taken personally, but everything turned out okay.” He placed a reassuring hand on Darcy’s shoulder. “Jane will be fine.”

Darcy pursed her lips and turned to Natasha. “What do you think?”

Natasha’s gaze flickered back and forth between Darcy’s nervous face and Steve silently asking her with his eyes to be calm and comforting. “I think Thor wouldn’t let her get hurt.” The answer momentarily pacified Darcy, and Steve took advantage of that to draw her into a different topic of conversation as a distraction. 

Food was eventually brought in, although no one was really hungry. People nibbled on the fruit and cracker-like things, but stayed away from the flasks of mead at the end of the table. Despite giving off a calm demeanor, everyone in the room was on edge until word came from Thor or they saw Jane themselves before they’d believe that everything was okay. It wasn’t everyday one of their friends changed species.

An hour into the wait, Natasha noticed two people were missing: Frigga and Clint. She immediately looked for Phil, who was now in the corner of a room and continuously flicking his eyes toward the balcony doors. She wiggled her fingers in a subtle hand gesture to see if Clint needed backup, but Phil gave a single, sharp shake of his head. Before she could question it, Pepper stepped into her line of sight. The other redhead began to ramble on about the dresses in her closet, the food, and how none of her clothes were going to fit when she got home. Natasha recognized the nervous chatter for what it was. Everyone in the group had anxiety about coming to Asgard; Pepper’s was because Loki came to attack the planet and nearly caused Tony to be lost to deep space. She was also still a little pissed about having to do extra construction work on their newly finished Tower.

Natasha watched a guard walk out to the balcony, and a moment later, he returned with Frigga at his side. “The procedure is nearly finished,” she announced. “I am going to check on things and will return with news.” 

Once she was gone, Natasha’s thoughts refocused on Clint. She looked to Phil, who gave her a small shrug, before she walked out onto the sunshine-soaked balcony. She bumped her shoulder against Clint’s, but he didn’t move. They stood in silence for ten minutes before he admitted, “Thor’s mom offered to fix my ears.”

Her eyebrows rose slightly in surprise. "What did you say?" Natasha asked.

"No,” he answered softly.

“Why?”

Clint sighed before speaking. “She wanted to do it as some apology for Loki sticking himself in my head.”

“Sounds like a start of an apology to me, but not nearly enough to cover that damage.”

“Nat, I’m not mad at Loki,” he admitted, finally looking over at her. “Yeah, he’s pulled a lot of shit, but I’m not mad at him.”

“He killed Phil,” Natasha argued. “Twice.”

Clint shrugged. “And then he took away all the scars and pain from the attack. Phil’s healthier than he’s ever been because of that.”

“Do you not remember what it was like with him in your head?” Natasha questioned. “Because I can remember what it was like fighting my best friend.”

“And I remember what it was like camping out in a waiting room for four days waiting for my best friend to die,” he shot back. “But no, I’m still not mad at him, Tasha. I don’t think you should be mad at him either; look at what he gave you.”

It was habit for Natasha to try and push the fact of how Nadia came to be out of her mind. As more time passed, she was able to hide that piece of information away a little bit better. There were some days she could just fall into the illusion that their little family hadn’t been created by magic spells, fear, and a shaky marriage. Natasha still owed a lot of debts, but she didn’t want any of them to be in Loki’s name.

“He’s still a total shithead,” Clint continued. “But that’s our job. We deal with those idiots all the time. Just so happens that this one gave us all a family.”

“We already were a family,” Natasha countered.

“You, me, and Phil were, sure. But now there’s more of us, and a little girl that I would do absolutely anything for. And that’s because of him.”

Natasha knew there was logic in his argument, but wasn’t in the mood to study it too closely. “What about your ears?”

Clint shrugged. “That’s on me. I knew what I was getting into with that. Besides, it’s been a couple of years, and I’m used to it. I mean, it would be nice to hear things without the aids, but I knew the risks of the job. Asgardians didn’t have anything to do with this; they don’t need to go cleaning up my messes.”

She wanted to argue, but nothing sounded good in her head. Instead, she just edged closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. His arm wrapped around her waist and he nuzzled his nose in her hair before quietly admitting, “I think she wants to talk to you, too.”

“About what?”

He shrugged slightly. “Some other kind of apology deal.”

* * *

The next morning, the ladies found themselves in the palace spa. The men had taken off an hour before dawn for some pre-wedding ritual hunt. Natasha closed her eyes as strong hands dug knots out of her shoulders. To her left, she heard Jane sigh. 

“Darcy, quit staring at me. I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine,” her best friend argued. “You’re a different species than you were yesterday. That’s weird, Jane. I know you’re all about doing things for the good of science, but it’s weird.”

“Do you feel different?” Pepper asked from the bubbling hot tub in the middle of the floor.

“Maybe a little,” Jane answered. “My internal organs aren’t where they used to be, and I’ve spontaneously gained a couple hundred pounds due to tissue density. But honestly, I feel fine.”

Natasha didn’t note any major changes in physical appearance. Jane didn’t grow any taller, maybe her hair was a littler shinier and her skin seemed to glow a bit, but nothing extraordinary seemed to have taken place. Which was probably why Darcy was having trouble accepting that everything was okay.

“ _Feeling_ and _being_ are two different things,” Darcy muttered.

“I think we should get married more often,” Pepper announced from the hot tub before taking another sip from her glass. Natasha wondered if she was going to have to haul a thoroughly drunk Pepper back to her room before the pampering was over. Maybe if she asked nicely one of the Asgardians would do it. “This is nice,” the CEO continued. “We did it for Natasha’s wedding, we’re doing it for Jane’s. We should get married more often.”

Natasha pried open one eye to stare at her friend. “You do realize you’re the most likely to walk down the aisle next, don’t you?”

Pepper scrunched her face for a second. “I think other people should get married more often,” she amended.

“Is that because you don’t want to walk down the aisle?” Darcy asked. “Or because you’re not sure you’d rather marry the guy you definitely share a bed with or the other guy you seem to also share a bed with?”

Pepper face flushed red. “It’s not like that,” she muttered. 

“Please don’t explain,” Natasha groaned. “I’m trying to relax, not have scarring mental images run through my head.”

“Speak for yourself,” Darcy countered. “Sounds pretty relaxing to me.”

“It’s… it’s not like...” Pepper sighed as she tried to string together the right words to describe the relationship everyone knew was happening but didn’t care to question.

“You really don’t have to explain,” Jane interrupted. “They same happy, you seem happy, who cares?”

“I do,” Darcy exclaimed. “Because her answer decides whether or not I get a nice chunk of change from a betting pool.” She must have felt the other women in the room turn to glare at her, because she quickly amended her statement with, “I meant fictional betting pool. A more than likely non-existent betting pool.”

“Leave her alone,” Jane warned.

“Fine,” Darcy sighed. “Let’s talk instead about since you’re all Asgardianified now, you and Thor can have a ton of babies.”

Jane’s gulp was audible. “Let’s not and say we did.”

* * *

Once everyone was massaged and manicured, they went their separate ways. Jane and Darcy left to meet with Frigga to finalize some last-minute things regarding the ceremony. Pepper went back to her room to take a rare nap, and Natasha found herself restless. Going for a run or doing some calisthenics was an option, but she didn’t feel like sweating after spending the morning being pampered. 

The men still had yet to return from their hunting expedition, so Natasha decided on a walk through the palace. She took the time to admire the art that they were quickly rushed past on their first day. She studied the architecture and brushed fingers along the walls to see if the building material felt alien to her, but the cool stone felt like something from home. She tried to give the appearance of aimlessly wandering the halls, but—whether she was willing to admit it or not—she knew exactly where her feet were leading her. 

It was really only a matter of time until Natasha drifted down into the prison below the palace. Thor at least must’ve known it, too, because none of the royal guards denied her access. She told herself that she wanted to inspect the security of the prisoner herself, but even she knew that wasn’t entirely true.

With each step that she moved down toward the pit of cells nestled under the palace, Natasha’s stomach twisted. She could hear Steve warning her in her mind to turn around and leave things alone, but she ignored it. She needed to face Loki head on; maybe then nightmares of Nadia vanishing would stop.

Natasha came around the corner to see him lounging on some couch—much nicer amenities than she would have afforded him—tossing a cup repeatedly into the air. He froze for a second when he sensed her presence, and then sat up slowly with a smirk creeping along his face.

"Quim," he greeted.

"Monster."

His face puckered at that word. “Ooo,” he breathed. “Is that any way to greet the one who gave you what you always wanted? Love. And a family.”

“I already had a family.”

“But you admit to not having love?” he asked rhetorically as he rose from the couch and began to pace laps around his bright white cell. 

Natasha remained rooted in place, forcing her body to stay as still as possible, but her chin couldn’t help but rise slightly at that challenge. “I already told you, love is for children.”

“Is that why you’re here then? Come to see my mother about how to have another of your own? She’s the one who taught me that particular bit of magic, by the way. Need another squalling, helpless creature to entirely depend on you in hopes of possibly feeling the most fleeting sensation of something you never had?”

“I’m here for your brother’s wedding. Sorry you didn’t get an invitation.”

“Please,” he scoffed. “I’d rather be here. I’m sure my loving, loyal brother petitioned to have me present for his idyllic nuptials, but I’d surely be forced to wear chains the entire time. Makes eating at the banquet a bit of a challenge.”

“You really think you’ll ever leave here without chains again?”

“Oh, come now. Why would you wish such a thing on the man who sired your child? How is the little one anyway? I really hadn’t expected both of you to live. I clearly must stop underestimating you.”

His voice turned low and deadly at the end, but Natasha’s gut was already frozen into a chunk of icy terror. “You’re not her father,” she breathed. She knew she should just leave before he completely wormed his way under her skin. 

“I created her,” he challenged. “I’m more of a father to her than your precious Captain Rogers. He’s as much of a father to her as Odin is to me.” He paused to spread his arms wide to take in his prison cell. “And look how well that’s worked out.” When she didn’t respond, Loki switched his tactics. “Oh, the great Steven Rogers. You know, I never pictured you with someone so pure and wholesome. People like us usually flee from someone so good. Wouldn’t want to taint them with our shadows and our inability to care and love.” He shrugged. “But perhaps you enjoy someone who was created to take orders. Someone who will kneel at your feet? Or perhaps just kneel between your legs.”

Natasha spun on her heel at that; she knew she needed to leave before his words took any more power over her. Her plan of putting things to unrest was quickly spinning out of control in the worst way.

“Tell Nadezhda I said hello.”

Her entire body instantly morphed into steel, amped up for a fight. Slowly, she turned back to face him. “If you ever say her name again,” she threatened quietly, “I will cut out your precious tongue.”

A grin overtook his face. “If only I’d cursed you with that magic spell before attempting to take Midgard for myself. Think of how differently things would have happened, because you know I have power over you now by making you a mother. Why else would you still be here?”

She knew if she left now that she would just be playing into his words, but if she stayed any longer, things could become so much worse. 

“And just think,” he continued as she walked away, “if I had waited, I could’ve had an heir to my throne.” 

He said three more words, in Russian of all languages, and despite it being Natasha’s native tongue, it took a second for them to settle in her mind.

 _My little princess_.

Natasha fled as slowly as her body allowed to keep up an unrattled appearance and wondered how long those three words would haunt her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To celebrate gaining 400 followers on my tumblr, I'm taking drabble prompts until 5pm EST today. [Details can be found here](http://saranoh.tumblr.com/post/82474622645/drabble-prompts-are-open).


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My most sincere apologies for the brevity of this update. The last two weeks have been insanely busy and I thought it was better to get one scene with good quality posted than a ton of crappy words or nothing at all.

When Steve finally returned from the hunt, he found Natasha planking on the floor. She’d spent the last three hours since her encounter with Loki putting herself through cardio paces with running in place, burpees, and anything else that would focus her mind on her breathing and her body—and not on the conversation she just had.

His boots appeared in her line of vision, and she could feel his nervousness at finding her in this state. “What happened?”

“I went down to the prison,” she answered.

“What did he do?” he asked in a tight voice. Natasha didn’t answer quickly enough and, as a result, she watched his boots turn on their heel and stomp away.

“Steve,” she called after him, but it was a waste of a breath. She could already imagine the sound of his shield singing in the air before crackling against the forcefield that held Loki in his cell. He was stalking through the common area before she could grab the back of his Asgardian-made tunic. “Steve!”

“Did he threaten you?” he asked as he spun around to face her. “Did he threaten _her_?”

Natasha rolled her lips as an answer, knowing full well if she repeated what was said, he’d undoubtedly storm the prison and do who-knows-what to Loki. And while that would be fun to watch—

Yet again, she didn’t answer quickly enough, and he stormed away, swearing under his breath. She yanked on the handful of blue tunic in her hand and dropped her hips to lower her center of gravity and increase her chances of holding him back, but it was fruitless. He broke free of her hold and kept walking. She didn’t realize the others were watching the spectacle until she heard the rustle of them readying equipment for whatever battle lay ahead.

“This is what he wants,” she announced, and that at least got Steve to stop before he reached the door. “This is exactly what he wants us to do. I fell for the trap, don’t you go and do it, too.”

Steve’s shoulders slumped as he half-turned toward her. “She’s my kid.”

Natasha couldn’t mistake the hurt in his voice, and she immediately knew that her denouncement of him being Nadia’s father the other night still ate at him. Simultaneously, she heard Loki whisper his opinion on her daughter’s parentage in her ear. “I know she is,” Natasha told him gently. “And so does she, so who cares what anyone else says or thinks.” She closed the distance between them and rested a hand on his upper arm. “I know you hate to back down from a fight with a bully, but let this one go.”

“If he’s found a way to hurt her—“

“He has, and it looks like this,” she told him. “Having us consumed with fear and doubt does nothing for Nadia.” She gave a small shrug. “A little late for me to figure that out today, but at least I eventually did.”

Steve twisted and slumped his back against the nearest wall, his shield dropping down to the floor and resting against his legs. “How badly do you want to talk to her right now?”

Natasha snorted. “Why do you think I sweated my perfectly good spa day into oblivion?”

“I believe I can be of assistance,” Thor announced. “I can send you back if you want. You are not bound to remain on Asgard if you do not wish.”

Natasha felt Steve waiting to answer for both of them. As tempting as the thought was, this separation was a lesson all three of them needed. Plus, if Loki heard that she and Steve and run back home after a single conversation with him, it would give the bastard to much damn delight. “Is there a way to just talk to her?” Natasha knew the answer to the question before it was asked. Thor had no way to communicate with them on Earth when he was here. 

“No,” he confirmed. “But I can have Heimdall look upon her to insure she is well.” Natasha looked up at Steve and he gave a small nod. “Come with me,” Thor ordered.

Steve left his shield to lean against the wall and the pair of them followed the Asgardian prince through his palace. They wove through the city streets until they were once again at the gate that opened to the crystalline bridge of swirling colors. Thor climbed atop a horse that was waiting there, and Steve did the same. There was a third mare available for Natasha to claim as her own, but she instead rode behind Steve. Once her arms were wrapped around his waist, the men set off.

Natasha buried her nose in the crook of Steve’s shoulder and neck. He smelled like sweat and sunshine. Immediately, she was curious about how their hunt went. It must have been something incredibly active if he’d actually worked up a sweat. 

She closed her eyes and deeply inhaled the scents that had become home. Four years ago, she was alone and callous, someone who only worried about staying alive and trying to find some way to redeem all her wrongs. Life was simpler then. Now there were days like this where the ease and emptiness of that time called to her, but as difficult as her life had become, the fullness of it was something she couldn’t walk away from. The Natasha of four years ago wouldn’t recognize the Natasha of now, and sometimes she worried about that. She grew scared of how becoming this soft could someday turn into a detriment.

Natasha shoved the those thoughts out of her mind and spent the remainder of the quick trip across the Rainbow Bridge focusing on the strength and familiarity of the man she was wrapped around. Not only physically, but she could admit to being wrapped up in him emotionally, too. Not that she could say that out loud, not yet, but she knew it was true. She’d meant what she said the other night—there was no way she could raise Nadia on her own. Not without her daughter turning into a cold, heartless monster like Natasha had been. Steve was a source of light in their lives, and it’d taken Natasha a while to ease out of the shadows and bask in his warmth. Deep down, and only on some days, she could admit to herself that she never wanted to leave the spot of light he’d cast on her life.

When they arrived at the bifrost portal, Hemidall nodded his greeting. Thor stepped up onto the platform with him and gave a hearty slap to his shoulder. “Dear friend, these parents would like to hear about their child. Would you mind assisting them?” he asked.

“Not at all,” Heimdall rumbled. His golden gaze turned to some far off point in the sea of stars before them. Steve and Natasha’s eyes followed suit, but even with enhanced vision, all they saw was a star field. “Currently, she is once more watching the adventure of the singing fish woman.”

“She’s okay?” Steve asked, his eyes still looking out at space, not the person who could actually see their daughter.

“Nadezhda is fine. She stayed very quiet her first two days, but she is beginning to warm up to her new friends.”

Steve’s arm wrapped around Natasha’s shoulders and he pulled her against his side. Natasha could imagine Nadia sitting in the corner of a couch—her favorite spot—and quietly watching her favorite movie. Only when she was overloaded on sugar would she belt out the songs. Most of the time, she just appreciated the pretty colors and the drawings like her Daddy could do.

“You’ll tell us if something’s wrong, won’t you?” Steve asked.

Heimdall nodded. “You have my word.”

They all stood in silence for a few minutes before Thor offered to lead them back. “I’m required to attend a final pre-wedding banquet with my family before tomorrow’s ceremony and must return. If you do not to wish to follow—or even to attend, since you are my family and therefore invited—I understand.”

Natahsa shook her head. “We’ll go. Thank you,” she said to Heimdall.

“Your daughter has more than your looks, Lady Widow. She has your strength, as well.”

 _And my weaknesses_ , Natasha thought.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for taking so long to get a proper update to you all. Life has been stupid busy, but the good news is my summer starts in twelve days, and only eight of those involve me teaching. Hopefully with summer break will come more words. Thanks for waiting it out with me.

Asgardians apparently didn’t believe in hair straighteners. Natasha looked into the mirror with a sigh and wondered how to fix her hair for Jane and Thor’s wedding ceremony—or rather the first day of the festivities. “I can feel you smirking,” she said to her husband.

Steve paused in his shaving—because that amenity was made available even though most men sported beards—to shrug. “I didn’t do anything.”

“I’m not going to go back to having curly hair when we get home. Nadia looks enough like me; we don’t need matching hairstyles. And if the word ‘cute’ comes out of your mouth, I’m cutting you off from sex.” She watched him fight his smirk to keep from cutting himself, but Steve stayed silent.

After Heimdall had checked in on Nadia for them, they’d attended the Asgardian equivalent of a rehearsal dinner. It was yet another round of feasting on too much rich food and being forced to share stories. Clint’d leaned over at one point to challenge Natasha, and probably the rest of the Avengers, into who could tell the biggest lie that the Asgardians would believe. Seeing as how this was a race of people who lived for eons and fought giants, Natasha didn’t think Asgardians would even think such stories would be made-up.

The only true highlight of the evening for Natasha was when Darcy called Thor out on cockblocking her. “Why is it that every Asgardian I try and hit up shoots me down?” she’d demanded of her friend.

“I am unaware of what you speak,” Thor’d tried to tell her.

“Thor,” she’d sighed before pointing to one of the male confidants close enough to the royal family to be invited to the dinner. The man was broad-shouldered, smiled easily, and his skin could rightfully be described as bronze. “He told me I was off limits, and he said you were the one who said I was off limits. Thor—he’s got da booty.”

The prince shook his head. “I do not know what this means.”

“She wants to get laid,” Jane’d explained. “Trust me when I say everyone will be happier if you just let her do her thing.”

“I was merely trying to protect you,” Thor had told Darcy.

The younger woman had rolled her eyes. “I’m no delicate little flower, trust me. I want you to be my wingman, not my chastity belt. Now hook a sister up.”

Steve, who’d also been observing the conversation, leaned into Natasha’s personal space. “Who should we be more worried about: Darcy or the Asgardians?”

“Definitely the Asgardians,” Natasha’d answered.

The two of them had left as soon as it was polite to do so. The walk back to their room was spent in silence, but it was a comfortable one. By the time they had reached their chambers, exhaustion had overwhelmed Natasha. The stress of battling drones, leaving behind her daughter, and the head games with Loki overtook her, and she quickly had felt herself start to fade. Steve had seen it too because he’d gently helped her undress and nudged her towards the bed.

Still, her body had fought sleep. Her mind had wanted to develop contingency plans and security measures to protect her daughter from a madman as well as her friends from robots hell bent on killing them all. “I’m going to need a vacation from my vacation,” she’d muttered. Steve’s arm had wrapped around her waist and pulled her against him, his nose nuzzling in her hair. 

“Nadia has a week before preschool starts. We could go somewhere for a few days. Borrow Tony’s house in Malibu? Finally take her to see the Pacific?”

“California is not a vacation,” Natasha’d returned.

Steve’d continued to list ideas in low rumble—out west to see mountains, the middle of nowhere just to escape everything, a road trip in the southwest. It was all Natasha needed to be pushed into sleep, and she didn’t wake till hours after sunrise the next morning.

They ate from the breakfast buffet set up in the common room for the guests before getting ready. Natasha looked in the mirror once more before moving off to the closet to dress. Her hair was fixed in loose curls, and she tried to apply her makeup so that it looked formal yet battle-ready since they were requested to wear their tactical gear—or warrior’s garb, as the Asgardians called it—to the ceremony. She shrugged at her reflection, deciding it was good enough before going back out to the bedroom.

Natasha caught Steve running his fingers over a navy gown hanging in their shared closet. “It’s not our wedding day. I’m wearing a different color.”

“I liked that dress,” he replied while smiling shyly. “But since it’s not our wedding night, is there a chance we might actually have sex after the ceremony.”

He laughed as she punched him in the arm. “You try being seven-and-a-half months pregnant sometime.”

“I would,” he returned, “but I’d never lose the baby weight, and I wear way too much spandex for that to happen.” Natasha rolled her eyes, but couldn’t help the small grin that crossed her face. She zipped up the front of her suit, stepped into her boots, and checked the charge of her Widow’s Bites. The electric crackle made Steve’s eyebrows rise. “Think you’re going to need those today?”

She shrugged. “Did it out of habit mostly, but who knows.” She watched his strong fingers slipped on his brown, fingerless, leather gloves. Her Widow outfits had several variations, but they were all mostly identical; the differences were created for various environments. Steve’s gear, on the other hand, had obvious differences from suit to suit. He’d brought his Commander edition for the occasion—all navy with a silver star and stripes on the chest. Natasha’d laughed the first time she saw it and sent a heartfelt thank you note to the person in R&D who’d designed the suit to have cloth patches on Steve’s stomach to emphasize his abs.

Steve picked up his shield and swung it around to attach to his back. It’d been freshly painted and polished before arriving to Asgard, and even in the dim light of the closet, it gleamed. “You ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

 

“Get your hands out of my pockets,” Bruce whispered.

“Technically, they’re gauntlets,” Tony responded. Pepper hushed them both quiet; Bruce turned his attention back to the ceremony while Tony, visor up to view the nuptials with his own eyes, put on an expression of mock hurt. “He usually has candy in there,” Tony reasoned.

“I don’t care if he has a trillion-dollar company in the pocket of his coat, knock it off. You whir every time you move and it’s distracting,” Pepper replied. Tony rolled his eyes but kept his mouth and body quiet while Natasha fought a smirk. 

Since Bruce couldn’t exactly wear his battle garb for the ceremony—no one wanted to know what would happen if the Other Guy had to sit through a wedding—he instead donned his nicest shirt and slacks along with is cleanest lab coat. On the other side of Tony, Pepper wore one of the many gowns from her own closet in New York. Tony had pointed out that she was more terrifying in her CEO dress suits, but then Pepper argued that it was at the galas where she could collect millions of dollars in a matter of hours, causing Tony to concede his point.

It was hard to believe the grand hall they, as well as nearly a thousand others, stood in was indoors. At the front of the giant room was a tree. Its roots sprawled into the ground and its branches provided a canopy over the three people on the dais—Thor, Jane, and Odin. Natasha was told the large plant was meant to symbolize Yggdrasil. Lights glowed in the branches providing a soft illumination to the wedding couple. Thor was in full armor, including the winged helmet Clint gave him endless shit over. As a result, the crowned prince rarely wore it into battle. Jane’s gown was a deep turquoise with gold accents. Her hair was in loose curls and pulled back at the nape of her neck. The All-Father conducted the ceremony, his booming voice heard easily throughout the great hall.

The Midgardians stood near the front of the crowd along with the Warriors Three, Lady Sif, Queen Frigga, and a number of other honored dignitaries. Natasha thought back to the last wedding she attended—her own. And that was one of only a few weddings she’d ever attended. She obviously wasn’t going to count the ones that were connected to missions or field work.

Her own wedding hadn’t been one that was elaborately planned. It was thrown together in a week, and only done so to protect Nadia against a possible, albeit short, stint in the foster care system if something happened to Natasha. She really wished there was a better reason for her and Steve marrying, but that’d been it. And the worst yet simultaneously most amazing part of it was that Steve had been fine with that. Sure, he’d had a minor freak-out when Natasha bluntly laid out the situation and ineloquently proposed to him, but for all the man had gone through up to that point, it was a miracle he hadn’t lost his mind already.

She was brought out of her reverie when she felt Steve’s knuckles brush against hers, and she knew from the look on his face that he was asking if she was okay. Natasha gave a small nod and softened her face a little to reassure him. 

Natasha turned her attention back to the ceremony. She listened to Jane and Thor swear their vows to essentially love and honor each other. There was an exchange of rings. Apparently, only Asgardian women wore a ring to show their marital status, but Thor had been so intrigued by Steve’s and the symbolism therein that he’d decided he wanted one, too. In addition to the jewelry, swords were also exchanged during the ceremony. Natasha silently wondered if Jane would’ve been able to heft the blade she was given were she still in her human form.

After a lengthy speech from Odin, the hall erupted into a cacophony of cheers as bride and groom shared their first kiss. Once things quieted down, Steve leaned over to Bruce. “I personally think you do a better job with these things.” The scientist smiled and ducked his head. 

Slowly, everyone filtered out of the grand room. They were led by the newlyweds into an equally impressive banquet hall. Thor, Jane, Odin, and Frigga stood in the doorway and greeted the guests as they entered. It took nearly an hour for the group of them to reach the wedding party, and they were near the front of the line. It drove Natasha slightly crazy how slowly everything was paced on Asgard; not all of them had eons-long lifespans, and judging from the growling sounds of Steve’s stomach, she wasn’t the only impatient one.

“Seriously?” Natasha asked.

Steve shrugged. “Guess hunting took more out of me the other day than I thought.”

“Not surprised,” Clint butted in with a smirk. “Especially after—“

“Ah!” Tony sharply said with a raised gauntlet. “What happens on the hunting trip, stays on the hunting trip.”

Pepper rolled her eyes. “When have you ever been good at keeping secrets? Including when you were in charge of government contracts?”

Tony shot her a look of mock hurt, but before he could respond, Thor’s voice boomed nearby. “My shield brothers!” They all took turns getting bruise-worthy hugs from the ecstatic groom, greeting the happy bride, and politely congratulating the reigning king and queen of the nine realms. Between hugging Jane and shaking Odin and Frigga’s hands—Asgardians were ridiculously curious about the Midgardian greeting—Steve’s hand came to rest on Natasha’s hip. She knew he could easily play it off as _this is my wife and I enjoy being around her_ , but Natasha also knew it was a reminder. Steve also remembered hearing about Frigga coming to talk to Clint and how she wanted to speak to Natasha, too. And sure enough—

“Lady Widow,” Frigga said with a smile, “I would appreciate a moment of your time, if you please.”

Natasha forced a smile and nodded. “Of course, Your Highness. I assume it will be after you’ve greeted the guests?”

The queen nodded before turning her attention to Bruce, Tony, and Pepper.

“What do you think she wants?” Steve asked as they walked toward their reserved seats at the head table. 

“I don’t know,” Natasha answered. “Clint said she wouldn’t tell him what she wanted.”

Steve’s grip on her hip flexed for a moment. “Then we won’t worry about it. At least, not until she comes to talk to us.”

Natasha was jealous of how he tried to blow it off, and she knew it was an attempt. Underneath his grin she saw the faintest hints of pinched worry, and seeing that in him helped more than his plan to keep her calm.

It wasn’t that they had any reason to fear Thor’s parents. Sure, they’d heard stories about them, and it was easy to extrapolate the fact that Odin could be a dick, but Thor always spoke highly of his mother. While that was somewhat comforting, Natasha also knew where Loki’d learned his magic. And, according to Clint, Frigga didn’t have any issues whatsoever using that magic to erase bad things that had happened to her fellow team members.

Steve took her hand and tugged her along. He gave it a squeeze to tell her once more not to worry, but she couldn’t help it. It was what she did, and if she didn’t have a mind that worked in such a way, she would’ve been dead decades ago.

Food began to appear, starting with so-called appetizers until everyone was seated. Any meal they’d eaten so far paled in comparison to the richness and abundance of this dinner. Despite his growling stomach, Steve didn’t seem as excited as one would expect at the plethora of culinary offerings. Natasha knew he grew uneasy at sights like this given the upbringing he had. They took turns nudging each other with elbows and toes to keep a pleasant look on their faces. 

Course after course was brought forth from the kitchens once all the guests were seated. Mead flowed plentifully. Natasha only sipped hers. She’d seen all week how strong the drink was, and she wanted to keep a clear head. Steve had yet to try the stuff, fearful that Asgardians were capable of producing an alcohol strong enough to overcome the serum. Tony was extremely disappointed by Steve’s choices.

Speaking of Stark, he was eyeing each new course as it emerged and shaking his head. “If a giant pie full of birds comes out of here, don’t let Thor drink any wine. I’ve read George R.R. Martin—I know how these things go.”

Bruce rolled his eyes. “I think the Asgardians like Thor a lot more than the people of King’s Landing liked Joffrey. Pretty sure Thor won’t choke to death at his own wedding banquet.”

Tony shook his head. “Just because it won’t end up like the Purple Wedding doesn’t mean it can’t wind up like some other colored nuptials. No one offered us salt and bread when we arrived; if someone starts playing ‘The Rains of Castamere,’ I’m flying out of here before I get stabbed.”

“You’re encased in metal,” Natasha pointed out. “I think you’ll be fine.”

A couple of hours later, the food finally ended—there was still plenty around, just no new courses after the incredibly rich dessert—and music began to filter through the air. Quickly, a number of the guests took to the dance floor and began moving about in patterns. It was a group dance, one of those you saw in movies about older times, where there was a series of set steps and an etiquette about everything. 

“Wanna join?” Steve asked softly in her ear.

She shot him a skeptical look. “Since when are you volunteering to dance?”

He shrugged. “You enjoy it. C’mon.”

Steve led her out to the floor, and they fell into line with the other couples already moving. They both were able to quickly pick up on the patterns of movements, Natasha showing a bit more grace as they danced around the marble floor. Pepper managed to drag Bruce out to join them—probably the safer bet of the two men when it came to appropriate behavior even though Tony probably would’ve been a stronger dancer. Darcy ended up dragging her new friend into the line a few couples down from Steve and Natasha. The younger woman was making up her own moves, and her date was more than happy to oblige the break from tradition.

An hour later, the crowd began to grow a bit restless, and someone shouted that it was time for the bedding portion of the evening. Natasha remembered back to her own wedding reception and the warning Jane had given her. She half-expected Jane to look anywhere from embarrassed to frightened at the pronouncement, but the woman looked happy and laughed right along Thor.

Darcy must’ve read Natasha’s mind, because she leaned in to say, “Trust me, Jane has no qualms about being naked in front of people. Neither does Thor. If I had a nickel for every time I’ve seen one of their bare asses, I’d have a lot of nickels.”

From the dais where their reserved table was, Natasha heard Tony’s visor clank shut. A second later he was hovering in the air and over the crowd. “People of Asgard,” he said greeted through the helmet—which always made his voice sound deeper and more intimidating, “allow me play you the song of my people.” It took a second for the song to start, but soon enough Salt N Pepa’s “Push It” was playing over the sound amplification system of the suit. Natasha shook her head while she heard Steve mutter something about “tradition” behind her.

She started to follow the crowd that was leading Thor and Jane to their bedchamber, but Steve wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her back towards him. His nose nuzzled in her hair to keep their conversation quiet. “We could sneak out of here and have our own bedding ceremony.”

She rolled her eyes as she spun, even though she didn’t mind the suggestion. “What happened to your big speech during the team briefing for this trip about being polite and observing tradition?”

Steve gave a small shrug. “Part of the tradition is elaborate dancing with a partner, and maybe I’m not ready to be finished with that part of the evening.”

“Elaborate?” Natasha asked with a raised eyebrow. Steve smiled back; on the surface it looked innocent, but she knew otherwise. “Are you sure this isn’t some trick to distract me some more and maybe delay a conversation with a certain queen if we’re too busy doing other things?”

“You’re not the only one who’s good at multitasking,” he responded.

Natasha looked up at him through her eyelashes and gave him her sultriest of smirks because two could easily play this game. “Oh, I know,” she told him. Natasha grinned at how his pupils dilated and his jaw clenched. 

“Let’s go,” he nearly growled.

They fought the current of the crowd and eventually broke free of the masses. Along the way to their room, both of them took turns pulling the other into a dark corner for a searing kiss. They chuckled at how their behavior mirrored horny teenagers—or just two adults who’d never spent time in a relationship without a kid being very much in the picture.

The heat building between them was immediately doused when they walked into the common room on the way to their bed to find Frigga standing there, waiting. The couple quickly pulled apart, Natasha yanking up the zipper on the front of her suit and Steve trying to fix his hair. She nearly snorted as he tried to move behind her to block certain parts of him from view; his suits were rarely forgiving when it came to hiding bulges of any sort.

“My apologies for interrupting your evening,” the queen greeted with a small smirk.

“We figured you’d be taking part in the festivities,” Steve said.

Frigga shook her head, the jewels embedded in her locks catching the light and sparkling. “I don’t want to make new daughter-in-law uncomfortable, and I’ve seen my son naked enough to last me till the end of my days.”

“What can we do for you, Your Majesty?” Natasha asked, her voice a practiced prim and proper.

“I wanted to apologize for Loki’s actions,” Frigga answered. “When I taught my son the ways of magic, it was never with the intention to hurt others unless it was in self-defense. I certainly never imagined him using it in such a vicious and personal attack on you and your team.”

Natasha felt Steve shrug behind her. “Turned out alright for most of us, Your Highness.”

“But it almost didn’t,” Frigga said while looking directly at Natasha. “Thor told me the tale of how you were nearly lost after your daughter’s birth. I am sorry you had to experience that, but grateful you were able to survive the spell’s intended outcome.”

“Thank you,” Natasha replied softly.

“I have come to give you an offer.” As she spoke, she reached into the folds of her elaborately embroidered skirt to withdraw a velvet pouch. “I am sorry my son forced a child upon you, but if you wish, I can make it possible for you to choose to have one.”

Natasha felt Steve tense up as her body did the same thing. “What do you mean?” her husband asked, his voice nearly taking on a threatening tone.

Frigga opened the small satchel and held out a pill that cast off a small amount of orange-red light. “The magic within this capsule will grant fertility. You will be able to have a child together on your own time.”

“Will I survive it?” Natasha asked.

The queen nodded. “The spell Loki cast was an ancient one constructed by desperate women who were not properly taught in the ways of magic. This,” she said while looking at the object in her hand, “was constructed by me with the help of a friend, a woman named Freyja.”

“And it works?” Steve asked hesitantly.

Frigga gave them a small smile. “I have a healthy son and still live, do I not?” The queen let her words sink in while she gently placed the capsule back inside its pouch. “You will become fertile, and once you are pregnant, it will go as things normally do. You will not be under any threat of the babe within pulling the life out of you so she can survive. It even allowed me to nurse for a time.”

“You’re Asgardian,” Steve pointed out. “How do you know it will work the same for her?”

Frigga extended the pouch from Natasha to take. “I discussed the matter with Freyja, who has known of Midgardians for some time, and she said it would work for you as well. It is yours if you want it.”

Natasha stared at the small velvet bag before reaching out and taking it. “Thank you,” she said, more out of habit than anything.

“I will let you get back to your evening,” Frigga said with a small smile as she exited.

Numbly, Natasha began walking back to the bedroom, Steve right behind her. “Are you seriously considering this?” Steve asked. She ran fingertips over the fine material as the millions of possibilities swirled around her. Hypothetical situations immediately threatened to drown her consciousness. 

Before she could open her mouth to answer, Steve gingerly took the pouch from her hands. “We can talk about this tomorrow. Let’s not worry about it till then.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always to my lovely beta, **the_wordbutler**.

Natasha woke when sunshine filled their bedroom. The first thing she saw when she opened her eyes was the velvet pouch Frigga had given them sitting on the nightstand. She squeezed her eyes shut, not ready to deal with such a thing, and turned in Steve’s arms to bury her face in his neck, but the movement caused him to wake.

“Hey,” he greeted groggily, arms tightening around her as he turned his nose into her hair. “What’s—“

His words dropped off and Natasha felt him tense against her. “Yeah,” she responded. “That.”

“What do we do?” Steve asked as he rolled onto his back and pulled her half on top of him.

She rested her elbow on his chest and used it to prop up her head. “What do you think?”

He sighed as he ran a hand over his face. “I don’t know. Even though she said it would work, I can’t help but think about what happened last time. It’s different now. It would be more than just losing you, if something happened. Pretty sure neither one of us wants Nadia to grow up without a mom.”

“And we both know that could happen anyway.”

“If it does, it’ll be on someone else’s hands. Not because we got selfish about expanding our family.” They stayed quiet for a moment, once more listing the pros and cons in their heads. “I don’t need a kid, I have one.” Before she could respond, he brushed his thumb against her cheek. “And before you can start arguing about how having a kid with my DNA would mean something more… I never thought I’d get to become a dad. I honestly didn’t think that I would live that long; either some cold would take me out or the war. You’ve already given more than I could hope for.”

“But you’re disgustingly good,” Natasha commented quietly. “There’s not enough of that in the world, trust me. It should be spread around.”

Steve’s eyebrows shot up and a hint of a smirk crossed his face. “Are you suggesting an open relationship?”

Natasha rolled her eyes. “You’ve been spending too much time with Stark.”

His chest shook with laughter beneath her; then his hand moved from her cheek to run up and down her upper arm. “What do you think?”

“I don’t know either,” she sighed. “Nadia would probably be better off with a sibling instead of being the only kid around. I don’t even know if she really understands what a brother or sister is.”

“She might get jealous,” Steve countered, and Natasha shrugged at that. “Would you be willing to go through it again?” Steve asked. “It’s asking a lot of you.”  
Natasha chewed on her bottom lip as she considered the question. She didn’t mind the physical aspects of being pregnant. The nausea sucked, and she wasn’t a big fan of things like her center of gravity shifting or her body not feeling like her own. But if she was going into the situation knowing what the future held and how it would be safer this time, it would probably be easier to handle. And having Steve there the entire pregnancy, supporting her and making her feel safe, would help, too.

But there was also the work aspect to consider. Natasha wasn’t cut out to be a stay-at-home mom. Her stint on bed rest was one of the worst experiences with torture in her life, and she’d had a number of things done to her by evil men. She enjoyed the activity and physical exertion that came with her line of work; the thought of going back to a desk job, analyzing intelligence or overseeing logistics on missions from a safe location, was honestly the least appealing con on her list.

Steve tugged on the lock of hair in his hand, and she couldn’t help the small moan of pleasure that slipped out of her. That caused his smirk to reappear and she smacked him on the chest for it. “I was thinking,” she reasoned.

“I know—I could hear it. Just couldn’t make out the details.”

She sighed and moved so that her chin rested on his broad, bare chest. “I don’t think I’d mind it. The not-keeping-up-with-work part would be the hardest.”

“I’m sure Nadia would appreciate having one of us around more often. Especially with Darcy leaving.”

Natasha arched an eyebrow. “Are you volunteering to take the pill? You’d be willing to have the baby this time?”

“I know the serum changed my body, but I don’t think it went that far. Although,” he added with a puzzled look on his face, “Tony was talking about how there’s stories about us on the internet. Some of them where the guys have the babies. I don’t think I want to know how that would work.”

“You really don’t,” Natasha agreed.

“So what do we do?” Steve asked. “I mean, I guess we don’t have to make a decision this instant. I don’t remember her saying there was an expiration date on the thing.”

Natasha turned her eyes back to the velvet pouch. “We could wait. Maybe talk with Nadia about it. See whether or not she’d be interested in it.”

Steve gave her an incredulous look. “You know she changes her mind three times each morning about what kind of shoes she wants to wear, right?”

She shrugged. “I don’t want her to feel left out. This will affect her life, too. Maybe we should wait for her to show us that she’d be ready for this.”

“Are we seriously going to put the timetable for all of this on our daughter’s tiny shoulders?”

“That’s not what I meant,” Natasha argued.

“Not completely,” Steve shot back. “But I understand where you’re coming from. I say we don’t make a decision here and now. Let’s wait till we’re back home.”

“And just have it consuming our thoughts until then?”

“Not the whole time,” he answered as he pulled her to him and quickly rolled them over. He hovered over here, positioning himself between her legs with a sly look on his face. “In the mean time, we can practice.”

“Until it’s perfect?” Natasha responded dryly.

Steve nodded before dipping his head to trail kisses along her collarbones. “And it might take a while to reach perfection.”

* * *

A brunch—whatever the title, it was still another banquet—was held mid-morning the day after the ceremony. Jane and Thor appeared to raucous cheers and shouts demanding to know how their wedding night went. The couple, who looked the happiest Natasha had ever seen them, ignored the traditional asking of intimate information. Music flared to life, and several people including Darcy and her new Asgardian friend started to move towards the open area of the floor. The Avengers, save for the royal couple, found a quiet corner and lounged on plush silk pillows while eating fruit and appetizers off a low table between them. 

Natasha was grateful that the Asgardians were used to their presence. She didn’t mind at all the practice sparring and learning new tactics in battle; however, she was relieved to not be constantly stared at in wonderment by those who’d never seen Midgardians before. 

As she reached for a few sweet, green berries she couldn’t remember the name of, Clint nudged her in the knee. She looked over at him and arched an eyebrow. 

“You gonna tell me what’s going on?” he asked quietly.

“It’s nothing,” she muttered, knowing there was no way he’d miss nor ignore her lie.

“I can just ask your husband,” Clint threatened.

Natasha rolled her eyes and stood, Clint hot on her heels. He threw out some excuse about them not getting to dance together last night and making up for lost time. But instead of heading toward the dancing, Clint guided her through a series of corridors and out onto a small balcony. This particular one overlooked a sheer drop off, and Natasha wasn’t surprised in the least that Clint would know about a place like this. No other balconies were nearby, and Natasha took the opportunity lean against the railing and sigh, enjoying a moment of peace and quiet.

“What happened?” Clint asked again from the opposite of the balcony. His arms were crossed over his chest, one ankle draped over the other, and his blue eyes bore into her. She was used to his stare by now and had long since stopped trying to pull a mask when it was aimed in her direction.

“Frigga came to chat with Steve and me last night.”

“She want to make you a deal about your hearing, too?”

“No,” Natasha answered. “She was more interested in trying to help out another region of my anatomy.”

It took a second for Clint to understand her response, but she knew when he did because his face slid into a hard expression. “No,” he ground out. “Absolutely not.”

“Clint—“

“Absofuckinglutely not, Tasha.” He pushed himself off the railing and stalked the five steps it took to get in her face. “You don’t remember what it was like waiting for you to die. You avoided mirrors so you couldn’t watch yourself waste away, but the rest of us didn’t have those luxuries. I’m not letting my best friend sacrifice herself, not even for this.”

“What happened to not being mad at Loki for what he did to us?”

“There’s a difference between letting go and stupidly forgetting things.”

“She said it wasn’t the same spell,” Natasha said. “Something else, something safer. And it wouldn’t be another clone of me; we could actually have a child together.”

“How does she know it would be safer?”

“Because it’s apparently the same magic that let her have Thor.”

Clint stayed quiet for a few minutes after that to process things. Natasha could hear him try and snap pieces into place. While he did that, she stared at the clouds. Nadia and Steve had an unending game calling out shapes they saw in the sky. It reminded Natasha that she now had less than two days until she’d see her daughter again; it still felt like an eternity.

“So you’re thinking about it,” Clint finally said, barely loud enough to be heard.

“That obvious?”

“It wouldn’t be eating at you if you weren’t.” He threw a barely there smirk over his shoulder. “And it’s obviously eating at you.”

She sighed and moved to stand next to him, their shoulders brushing together. “I owe him. A lot.” Clint opened his mouth to argue, but she held up a hand to keep him quiet. “We both know I’m not the easiest person to be around. And he’s willing to spend his life with two of me. Maybe doing this will bring some sort of balance to things.”

“You’ve gotta get over your ledger hang up.”

“I will when you will,” she challenged.

He didn’t have a response to that. They stared out at the expanse below them for long enough that Natasha thought he’d dropped the conversation. “If you do this, and leave that little girl without a mom, I’ll bring you back to life and kill you myself.” She slapped him upside the head for the comment, if only to cover how deep it hit her. He raised his hands in surrender. “And then I’ll bring you back again so she won’t lose you, but I’m not kidding, Nat. There are other ways to get her a sibling.”

“I’m the more expendable parent. Steve can at least—“

“Shut up,” Clint snapped. “Are you out of your damn mind? Don’t ever say that shit again.” He paused to let his temper settle, grinding his jaw to hold back more words. “Steve ever tell you what happened when you were in Nigeria a couple years back?”

“No,” Natasha answered, her skin starting to crawl at the thought of something bad happening while she was away.

“I guess it was the first time Nadia really was able to understand the fact that you weren’t there. I mean, before she’d cry and stuff, but she hadn’t figured out how to look for you—that crawling around to find you was a thing she was capable of.” 

Natasha’s memories of Nadia at that age came flying back to her. She remembered what it was like to have her nestled on her hip, happily babbling away. Her heart squeezed at the thought of burying her nose in wisps of red curls and inhaling the scent of tear-free baby shampoo.

“Anyway,” Clint continued, “she finally understood the concept of looking for you. She crawled all over your apartment any time she broke free from someone’s grasp, calling out for you. By day three, she was inconsolable. She screamed bloody murder looking everywhere for you, even got a bruise on her forehead because she couldn’t see through her tears and crawled right into a wall.” He paused to wave his hand over his own forehead to show where Nadia’d been hurt. Then his eyes went back to being unfocused, staring off at nothing as he recalled the memory. “None of us could calm her down, not even Steve. Since we couldn’t call you, Phil finally got the bright idea to play some of your old video logs. It was from years ago and you were talking about how some milk run in Iran went down, but the kid didn’t care. It was the first time she’d stopped crying in days.” Natasha swallowed hard as Clint leaned a little further into her personal space. “Don’t you dare ever think she could get by in life without you.”

She punched him in the shoulder as a thank you, and he began to hiss about a dead arm while she let his words sink in.

They wandered around the palace for a few hours, talking about everything and nothing. Clint was Natasha’s best friend and had been for years, but with him spending the last few years sidelined due to losing most of his hearing, their casual conversation time had been cut short. Granted, Phil never appreciated when they tried to discuss favorite movies on the comms during a firefight, so maybe it was for the best.

Despite living only a floor away and seeing each other often, rarely did they get the time to just talk. Clint caught her up on the latest antics of the cat he’d rescued. Apparently, Ruby was almost evicted from her home when Phil caught her in a pile of his ties. But once the handler realized she was just using them as a new bed, all was apparently forgiven.

When they eventually returned to the feasting, Bruce greeted them at the doorway. “I tried to stop it before it got out of hand,” he warned.

“What’d Stark do?” Clint asked.

The scientist’s eyes slid over to meet Natasha’s before he turned toward the dance floor. She followed his line of sight to where Steve was dancing with Darcy. It took a second for her to realize what was wrong. She didn’t think it was unusual for him to pair off with their friend; it would take a little cajoling on Darcy’s part considering that they were doing what she considered to be “dancing”, but it wasn’t out of the realm of possibilities.

And then, Natasha’s mind began putting things together. Like how he had dopey grin on his face, how his movements were slightly off from the beat and not nearly as calculated and controlled as they usually were, and how he was loudly carrying on a conversation about musicians. “He’s drunk?” Natasha asked in disbelief.

Bruce nodded, and both of them ignored the peals of laughter that immediately came from Clint. “Tony talked him into trying some of the Asgardian mead. I tried to stop them both when I realized he was tipsy, but I think Tony was passing it to him under the table or spiking the non-alcoholic drinks I was trying to give Steve.”

“I’m going to kill him,” Natasha sighed as she stalked off towards her husband. As she got closer, she wasn’t too surprised to see that Darcy was a bit inebriated herself—nothing too deep in drunkenness but definitely buzzed.

“Did you come to dance with us?” Darcy asked excitedly as she approached.

Steve swung around at Darcy’s question to see who was approaching, and their former nanny barely ducked out of the way of one of Steve’s arms flying through the air. Natasha’s mind immediately went into threat assessment mode. If there was going to be a drunk super soldier flailing about, at least he was surrounded by sturdy Asgardians.

“You came back!” Steve exclaimed happily, dopey grin on his face. Of course he would be a happy drunk.

“I did,” Natasha said with a smile. “You’re wasted.”

“Nah,” Steve drawled. “Just a little tipsy, maybe. Can’t get drunk ‘nymore.”

“Hopefully you can’t get hung over, either,” Natasha replied under her breath. She wrapped an arm around his waist to help lead him out of the banquet hall before he danced his way into a priceless statue and accidentally smashed it to pieces. She wasn’t sure which would be worse to deal with: the cultural offense or Steve’s guilt.

Her husband misinterpreted the action as Natasha wanting to dance incredibly close to him. He pulled her tight against his chest and began to sway slowly despite the somewhat quick tempo of the music. Natasha managed to get Darcy’s attention and wave her away. Steve squeezed Natasha even tighter against him and sighed as he rested his cheek on top of her head.

“Asgardian shampoo is nice, but I like your regular one better. It smells like you’re supposed to smell. Just like Nadia’s makes her smell like Nadia,” he rambled. “That’s always the first thing I want to do when I come home—smell my girls’ hair.”

Natasha fought a groan, because of course not only was he a happy drunk, he was also a happy, clingy drunk. “Steve, what do you say we go back to our room? I’ll find us some Asgardian coffee or something, and we’ll get you sobered up.”

“Tasha,” he nearly whined. “I’m not drunk. I only had two globlets—“ He had to pause to snicker at his combination of glasses and goblets for a moment. “I only had two,” he repeated while holding up two fingers in her face. “I’m fine.”

“Tony give you any other drinks after that?”

“Yeah. Why?” he asked.

“How many?”

Steve shrugged. “They were good, so I kept drinkin’ ‘em.”

“I’m going to murder Stark,” she swore under her breath. Before she could even think about making due on her new promise, the hand Steve’d used to count his drinks came down to smother her ass. “Yeah, we’re definitely getting out of here,” Natasha declared.

Steve pulled her close again. “I wanna dance.”

Natasha put on just a little bit of the charm she could pour out for a mark, glancing up at him through her lashes and giving him a smoldering look. “Let’s dance somewhere a little more private,” she suggested. She knew the comment had its intended effect as she watched Steve’s eyes go dark and his tongue dart out to lick his lips. 

“Yeah,” he breathed before grinning. “Let’s do that instead.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Immense and never-ending thanks to **the_wordbutler** for her beta services.

Steve awoke with a groan late in the evening. Natasha couldn’t hide her smirk as he muttered a complaint about his head. “How you doin’ there, champ?”

“What the hell happened?” Steve moaned.

“You got drunk,” she answered before getting out of the bed to get a couple of glasses of water from the bathroom. She handed both of them to Steve, and he drank them greedily, so she repeated the process.

“I didn’t think that was possible,” Steve responded.

“Asgardians disagree with you,” Natasha replied as she crawled back onto the bed.

Steve looked down to see he was only wearing a pair of boxer-briefs, and when he glanced over to see that Natasha was stripped down to a tank and her underwear, she watched his face contort into discomfort. “Did we have sex?”

Natasha was severely tempted to toy with him but felt guilty that he was experiencing his first hangover in decades. “No, and not for lack of trying on your part. But I’ve slept with enough men under the influence of something and not in control of their minds. I didn’t want to add your name to the list.”

“Thanks,” he said softly. He then groaned again and slung and arm over his face. “Did I do anything stupid?”

“Your dancing with Darcy with definitely something.”

Steve chuckled until it was too painful to do so, which wasn’t long. “Was that it?”

Natasha raised an eyebrow at him. “There was that one part about us coming back here, and you focusing a lot of time on kissing my stomach. Talking about how beautiful I looked when I was pregnant, and how you’d love to make me look that way.” Steve went stock still beside her, barely even breathing. “Then you felt guilty about your male ego and passed out.” She rolled onto her side and settled herself beside him. “Something we need to talk about?”

“No,” he answered quietly.

Natasha peeled the arm away from his face. “What happened to ‘I don’t want a kid?’”

“That’s not what I said,” Steve told her.

“Really? Because I remember—“

“I said I didn’t _need_ a kid,” he interrupted. “Not that I didn’t want one.”

“Why didn’t you say so when we talked about it this morning?” she questioned.

Steve sighed, and she watched his jaw clench and relax before he answered. “I watched them pull Nadia out of you, and then I watched as you stopped breathing. She was screaming for you, and you were dead.”

Natasha placed a hand on his bare chest. “Steve—“

“They kicked me out of operating room at that point. Did I ever tell you that?” he asked with a hint of hurt and humor in his voice. “It took three nurses to talk me out of that room, because it would’ve taken The Other Guy to remove me physically. I took three nurses away from taking care of you because I was…” He trailed off with a shake of his head and a hard swallow. “They got you back, but you stopped breathing again. And then I spent four days sitting in a chair, clueless with a newborn, waiting for it to happen a third time.” He rolled his lips and finally looked at her. “I can’t ask you to do that again. Even if Frigga said everything would be fine, I could never ask you to go through that again for something I only want, not need.”

Natasha didn’t say anything in response, just snuggled closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. “Why didn’t you say anything?” she repeated.

“Because drinking was easier,” he admitted with a note of shame. 

“What are you talking about?”

Steve sighed again. “In my medical file, they called it something about nervous trouble. I would let my mind get obsessed over things. Before the serum, I could make things quieter with some booze. And I was little, so it wouldn’t take much, which was good since I didn’t have a lot of money.”

“Bet it also helped contribute to the number of bar fights you found yourself in.”

Steve smiled. “Bucky would definitely agree with you on that one.” 

“So you got drunk because you were scared?” Natasha asked.

“No,” Steve drawled. “I tried to get drunk because the serum cured a lot of things, but not my obsessive thinking.”

“Am I going to have to hide mead from you so you don’t become an alcoholic because you want your brain to shut up?”

“No,” he said in a solemn tone. “Nadia wasn’t here, so I thought it would be okay to try. You, Thor, and The Other Guy could hold me down if things got out of hand.”

Natasha reached up to run her fingers through his hair. She kept her touch gentle, keeping his hangover in mind, and his eyes fluttered shut at the contact. Natasha found herself jealous of his long and thick eyelashes, and not for the first time. “You know, since we’re married and all, we’re supposed to be more open about this kind of stuff.”

Steve pried open one eye and smirked at her. “You’ve heard the phrase about pots and kettles being the same color, right?”

Natasha pulled on his hair for a split second before going back to lightly running her fingers against his scalp. “Still should’ve told me. And not while drunk and obsessing over my stomach.”

“Sorry,” Steve muttered.

“You were sweet about it, at least,” Natasha replied. 

He ran a hand over his face. “What time is it?”

Natasha shrugged. “Late. You hungry?”

Steve moaned. “Not even a little, but I might pass out if I don’t get something in my system.” 

“C’mon,” she said as she patted his chest. “Put some clothes on, and we’ll go rummage for food.”

Natasha barely pulled Steve out of bed and shoved him into clothes while she put on a pair of pants. As soon as they were dressed, there was a pounding on the door. “Jane has a thing,” Tony’s voice shouted. “Let’s go.”

“A thing?” Steve questioned.

She shrugged. “You going to be okay?”

He nodded. “I’ve felt worse. Let’s go.”

They pulled on shoes and trailed after the rest of the crew. Along the way, Clint asked Steve how he felt. A glare was the only answer the archer received, which he found to be hilarious.

The group followed Darcy, who’d been sent to fetch them all, to a new part of the palace. Natasha noticed that the closer they got to their destination, there was a continually increasing number of palace guards lining the halls. 

“Where exactly are you taking us?” Phil asked.

“Papa Odin’s private chambers,” Darcy answered. “Although, I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to call him that,” she muttered.

A few minutes later, they arrived in a private chamber. Every surface—walls, floor, ceiling, columns—were made of dove gray marble. The only thing in the room was one of the largest beds Natasha’d seen. It looked to be large enough to be at least a queen sized mattress for the Hulk. Jane was circling the large, gold bed. It was evident she’d dressed hastily, since her backwards tunic didn’t match her pants. As soon as she saw Tony and Bruce, she began to excitedly spill her latest idea. The three of them began tossing thoughts back and forth about something having to do with energy transferals, forcefields, impenetrable barriers from wormholes, and the fabled Odinsleep. The only thing that caught Natasha’s attention for any span of time was Bruce’s announcement that their new idea “could stop the drones.”

The trio continued theorizing, using words and thoughts miles above everyone else’s head. Even Bruce and Tony seemed to be struggling a bit to keep up with Jane’s flow of ideas. Natasha felt her eyes glaze over. Looking around, she wasn’t the only who shared that reaction. Jane, Tony, and Bruce shared ideas at a frighteningly quick pace while the rest of them waited for someone to translate things into English.

“You understand any of this?” Natasha asked Thor.

The Asgardian prince shook his head. “One moment were about to become intimate, the next she began to ramble on about the Odinsleep chamber. I was barely able to convince to put clothes back on before she sought out Stark and Banner.”

“So the rest of us don’t technically need to be here?” Clint asked.

“Hush,” Phil ordered.

“Oh, like you understand any of this,” Clint shot back.

“I’ll make myself learn if it means we can improve our defenses,” Phil said.

Natasha looked over at Steve. The man stood with hands on his hips, head bowed toward his chest, a grimace plainly evident on his face. “You gonna be okay?” she asked.

“This is going to be one of the few times I readily and immediately agree with Clint,” he answered.

“Heard that!” Clint smirked.

“Go back and lay down,” Natasha encouraged with a small shove to his side. 

Steve pulled an exasperated look. “If this is something the team can use, I should be here.”

“You look like you’re going to vomit if you stay on your feet much longer. Go back to bed,” Natasha ordered.

“I’ll walk him back,” Clint volunteered. “Don’t think anyone really needs us to do science, Cap. So let’s go split a pitcher of water and then you can sleep off your hangover. I’m great at dealing with hangovers.”

Natasha shook her head at her best friend. “Don’t think that’s something you want to brag about.”

“You’re just jealous there’s one thing in the world I’m better than you at.”

She snorted. “Whatever. Go sit on him till he goes to sleep.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Clint answered with a two-fingered salute.

“Tasha,” Steve groaned. “I need—“

“To not be here right now. Do you want to feel awful around a three-year-old who hasn’t seen you in a week? Go to bed, Steve.”

He sighed but relented, allowing Clint to walk him back to their suite. Natasha returned her focus to the continued ramblings of the scientists, but her head began to pound trying to keep up with them. She turned, tapped Thor on the arm, and led him out of the room. “Can I ask you about something?” she asked as they began to meander around the palace corridors.

“Of course, Lady Natasha.”

Despite being told time and again that she didn’t require a title in front of her name, Thor continued to use it. Natasha was fairly certain he saw it as a joke. “Your mother came to see me.”

“Aye,” he sighed. “She warned me that she planned to have a discussion with both you and Barton. I hope you were not offended. Mother does tend to meddle in issues that are not her own.”

“No, it’s fine,” Natasha reassured with a shake of her head. “I just— Did you know such a spell existed? One that would let Steve and I have a child together? One that will give me, supposedly, a safe pregnancy?”

“Indeed,” he answered solemnly.

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

“I did not think it was appropriate when you were with child to inform you of spell that would not harm you like the one Loki casted. It did not seem like a fair thing to do.”

Natasha paused, wondering how to delicately ask her next question. “What do you know about this spell?”

“I know it was used for my own conception,” he said, seemingly reading Natasha’s worries. “Mother informed me after we thought Loki was dead. My parents saw how hiding the tale of how he came to be affected my brother, and they did not want the same emotional outbursts to come from me. Even if they Loki’s opinions on the matter were somewhat valid,” he muttered.

“Did you feel any different toward your parents when you found out?”

“No,” Thor answered, shaking his head. “Midgardians use medical means to enhance their chances for conception, do they not? I once watched a special with Darcy about something called test tube babies. Do you think those children feel less loved when they discover how they came to be?” They continued walking in silence for a bit until Thor admitted, “If anything, it made me more appreciative of how much my parents care for me. The fact that they went through such great lengths to bring me into existence was humbling. What are your feelings on the matter?”

Natasha’s eyebrow quirked for a second. “I can’t speak to what it’s like to have opinions about your parents when you’re a kid. Never really had that experience—or at least, not much of one to remember.”

“Do you believe a child you have as a result of this magic would resent you?” Thor questioned.

“I can think of a number of reasons why a child would a resent me, but I don’t think this would be one of them.”

Thor patted her reassuringly on the shoulder. “You are a far greater mother than you believe.” She gave a small smile, but no other move to acknowledge the compliment. “You are concerned about this?”

“Well, the last time almost killed me, so yeah. A little,” Natasha answered. “Even though your mother said it was a less dangerous way of having a child, it’s hard to forget about the last time. Especially if you’re Steve.”

“Aye,” Thor replied quietly. “It was difficult watching your health fail and waiting to see if you would overcome the curse. But,” he added, his tone immediately lightening, “you are the only one who has done that. There is no other recorded case where both mother and child survived the spell Loki placed upon you and Nadezhda. And if you can live through the curse, I am sure this spell will have no ill effect on you. But I do understand hesitancy on your part, as well as the Captain’s.”

Natasha tried to find hope in his statement, but it was elusive. Fear was an easier thing to surround herself with; she knew how to combat that, how to make it work in her favor. 

“Mother will not be offended if you do not take her up on her offer,” Thor said. “The choice is entirely up to you and your family. And if, down the road, you decide to use it, it will be waiting for you.”

Natasha nodded. “What do you think about all of this?”

Thor smiled and wrapped an arm around her slender shoulders. “I think I have my own possible children to be concerned with.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks until the end of time to **the_wordbutler** for being my beta and sounding board. 
> 
> Also, this is the next to last chapter. Just an epilogue, to be posted in a couple weeks, and this story will be finished. Thanks so much for reading it.

“Explain it again,” Phil asked in an exhausted tone.

Natasha sighed, but at least contained her eye roll. Clint, not so much; Steve looked like he wanted to join in, but refrained. The pained expression on his face wasn’t from the mead—he’d slept his hangover off last night—but rather from not being able to understand the words coming out of Bruce, Tony, and Jane’s mouths.

To be fair, the scientists looked equally frustrated.

“For the umpteenth time,” Tony groused, “Odin’s setup pulls energy from the Odinforce—just go with these names, alright? While he’s sleeping, it leaves Asgard and the king vulnerable, but it recharges his batteries and helps restore his power.”

Jane nodded, picking up his train of thought. “We want to do something similar, but reverse the direction of power. Instead of drawing in energy and leaving everything vulnerable, we want to pull it out of Thor to create an energy barrier around the planet that would prevent the drones from being able to portal onto the surface for a fight.”

“Won’t that still leave Thor vulnerable?” Steve asked.

“Aye,” the Asgardian prince said. “I will be as a mortal while in the sleep, and for some time after.”

Jane touched his arm and gave him a reassuring smile. “He would slowly regain his power on his own, or we could bring him back here for his own Odinsleep to restore his power.”

“So we just let him nap in this custom bed all the time?” Clint questioned. “Because I want to know why I didn’t land that gig.”

“It would require you to have some kind of power,” Tony quipped with a smirk. He then ignored Clint flipping him off.

“Thor wouldn’t be there the whole time,” Bruce explained. “For one, he’d eventually run out of energy, and then the whole thing would be useless.”

“Then how will he know when to be put down for a nap?” Natasha asked.

Bruce rolled his eyes at Tony for making some under-the-breath comment about how much she sounded like a mom for asking it that way. “We’ve been able to start detecting a certain wavelength of ultraviolet radiation in the satellites we sent up into space about a year ago. We think it’s a signal from whoever controls the drones, trying to pinpoint the exact location of Earth so they know where to open up the other end of the wormhole. It usually appears a couple hours before an attack.”

Coulson nodded slowly. “So when we detect this UV radiation, we send Thor to set up the energy field.”

“Finally, comprehension,” Tony snarked.

“Is two hours enough time?” Steve asked. “And how long would he have to stay asleep?”

Jane manipulated her calculations in the air, the golden figures shimmering in front of her. “It should be long enough to build a force field with enough strength to prevent them from opening a portal on Earth. As for how long he’d have to stay there, that depends on the other side of things. Thor could stay in the sleep for up to a week, and the force field would be strong enough to hold for another month after that, but then we’d be exposed again. At least until Thor regained his full power.”

Thor cleared his throat. “It should also be known that while the force field is in place, other portals cannot open on Earth.”

“Like ones from Asgard?” Natasha asked.

Thor nodded. “Aye.”

Steve crossed his arms and his face grew serious. “So if we get into trouble, no calling for backup from your friends like we’ve done before?”

Tony blew a raspberry and waved his hand in the air. “We’ll be fine. We took down the Chitauri on our own, and we did okay.”

Clint raised his eyebrows. “You and I were head cases for months after and Phil died.”

“Clarification,” Tony argued while pointing a finger in the archer’s direction. “Phil died from Loki, not the Chitauri, so that doesn’t count. And it didn’t count anyway since he didn’t stay dead. Also, I’m not sure when either of us stopped being head cases.”

“So when do we get started?” Jane asked excitedly.

Thor sighed wearily. “Beloved, we are supposed to honeymoon, as the Midgardians would say.”

She patted his arm once more. “We’re going to live for thousands of years. There will always be time for sex. Science on the other hand…”

“Go,” Bruce chuckled. “It will take us at least a few weeks to get all the resources together.”

Tony nodded. “And there’s probably some permit work I’ll have to do to build this, but I’ll let Pepper take care of that.”

“I could help procure materials,” Jane offered.

Tony offered her a look of pity. “Are you the one in this conversation with their name everywhere and billions of dollars at their disposal?”

“Not yet,” Jane shot back.

“Touché.”

“Take your honeymoon,” Phil encouraged. “The rest of us—the ones gifted at science or paperwork, at least—will get things ready.”

“Thank you,” Thor said.

“Is there anything else we need to do here?” Phil asked. “Anything official? Another banquet or appearance?”

Clint groaned at that. “Please say no. None of my pants are going to fit when I get home.”

Tony snorted. “You sound like Pepper.”

“I’m going to take that as a compliment,” Clint replied.

Thor shook his head at the two of them. “There is nothing more for you to do. I am deeply grateful that you all would travel this far to take part in our wedding celebration. I will not forget this.”

“Then let’s get out of here,” Steve announced.

Tony smirked at him. “Afraid I’ll get you drunk again?”

“No,” Steve said, although Natasha knew that was a legitimate fear. “I want to see my daughter.”

An hour later, they were ready to go. It didn’t take long for them all to pack; most of the time was spent finalizing the list of supplies for Thor’s chamber. But now they all stood once more in Heimdall’s presence. He’d greeted Natasha with a grin. “She has done quite well,” he informed her, “but I believe she is ready for your return.”

“She’s not the only one,” Steve quipped.

They exchanged hugs and handshakes with Jane and Thor, and then assumed what Tony called out that they should brace for impact before traveling once more through space. Natasha stepped into Steve’s embrace again, but this time didn’t squeeze her eyes shut. She wanted to tell Nadia about what it looked like, the swirling lights and colors as they whizzed past stars.

The portal spit them out on roof of the Tower. Tony clapped his hands at Heimdall’s foresight, since this was where they’d planned on building Thor’s new bed. Immediately, he and Bruce began to finish each other sentences while they began prep work. Tony carried two conversations at once—the first with the Bruce, the other issuing a list of possible needs from the city to Pepper and Phil. 

Clint rolled his eyes. “Guess the vacation’s over,” he muttered as he walked away to let Phil get to work.

Steve grabbed Natasha’s hand and tugged her towards the door. “They don’t need us,” he said. 

Natasha could feel his excitement buzzing, and she couldn’t quite blame him. They quickly dumped their belongings in their apartment before traveling down to the garage. Once they found the car that had Nadia’s booster seat installed in the back, Steve sped them along to Queens. She didn’t even bother trying to hide her smirk as her husband cursed under his breath at incessant traffic. Shortly thereafter, but not soon enough, they were parked in front of the Sitwell residence. Natasha’d called Jasper as soon as they left the Tower to give him a head’s up on their arrival. Steve barely had the car in park before the front door open and Nadia and Jasper came out to stand on the stoop.

Natasha opened her car door and watched as Nadia looked up at Jasper while pointing to her parents. Jasper gave a nod, and Nadia was off with a flash. She ran as fast as her little legs could carry her. Natasha sank to her knees and caught her daughter in her arms. For the first time in a week—since the drones attacked and even after her lungs were healed—Natasha felt like she could breathe easily.

“Hi, Mama,” Nadia giggled into her shoulder.

“Hi, baby,” Natasha returned.

The three-year-old didn’t even argue about the title just pulled away with a grin. She held her arms up and squealed as Steve picked her up, held her to his chest, and twirled her around a few times. “We missed you,” he told her when they stopped spinning.

“Missed you, too,” she replied before looking over his shoulder towards the car. “Just you?”

“Daddy and Mama not good enough for you?” Natasha asked as she stood.

Nadia’s bottom lip pouted slightly. “I missed my uncles, too.”

“You’ll see them tomorrow,” Steve promised. “For today, you’re stuck with your parents.”

“Okay,” the girl answered with a shrug. She then gasped with excitement, her face lighting up as she remembered something. Nadia clamored to be released from her father’s grip and darted over to Natasha as quickly as she could. She motioned for her mother to come back down to her level. "I made a new friend!" her daughter exclaimed. Nadia leaned her face in close to Natasha and whispered, "She’s a mermaid."

Jasper chuckled as he walked into the yard to join the group. “No, sweetie, she’s just a mutant.”

Nadia shot him a look so dark, it reminded everyone that she was wholly Natasha’s. ”Mermaid.”

“Nadezhda,” Steve warned. “Watch your tone.”

“But, Daddy, she was a mermaid. She looks like a fish.”

“McCoy’s kid,” Jasper explained. “She has a mutation that gave her fish scales on her face and arms.” He paused to look back down at Nadia. “And she has legs, not a fish tail, so she’s a human.”

“Mermaid,” Nadia shot back.

“Well, you’ll get to find out for yourself in a few days,” Jasper said with a smirk. “Lord have mercy on your preschool teacher.”

Nadia scrunched her face up in confusion. “What does that mean?”

“Sounds like you met one of your classmates,” Steve answered. “She’ll go to preschool with you.”

Her eyes widened and her entire body began to vibrate with excitement. “I get to go to school with a mermaid?” she half-shouted.

“Apparently,” Natasha told her. “But first let’s get your things so we can go home.”

“She’s all packed up and ready to go,” Jasper informed them. “She stared out the window waiting for you as soon as I got off the phone and told her you were on your way.”

Steve clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Thank you so much for watching her. I hope she wasn’t too much trouble.”

Jasper shrugged. “I’m pretty sure we both had moments we weren’t proud of, but it’s fine.”

Nadia said her goodbyes and hugged the three Sitwell daughters before leaving. On the way back, Steve asked her wanted for dinner. Natasha twisted in the passenger seat to catch the three-year-old with her “thinking face” on, as Tony called it. After pondering the question for a moment, Nadia answered, “Mashed ‘tatoes.”

Steve smiled. “What do you want to go with your mashed potatoes?”

Nadia shook her head. “Just mashed ‘tatoes.”

Steve’s grin widened as he stole a quick glance at Natasha. “Pork chops okay?”

“I don’t know,” she answered. “I was really hoping we could have some more roasted meat on a spit with more meat on the side, and meat for dessert.”

Steve groaned. “I need a lot of protein, but Asgardian banquets are almost too much, even for me.”

While Steve cooked, they took turns telling Nadia stories about what happened to them on Asgard, and they happily listened—and sometimes cringed—at the stories Nadia told about her stay with the Sitwells. 

“So we’ll be writing apologies in our thank you cards?” Natasha asked.

Steve nodded. “I’ll make sure to do that.”

After dinner and at their daughter’s insistence, they went through her little backpack for the hundredth time to make sure everything was ready and in its place for her first day of school, even though it was still almost a week away. Then it was time for the dreaded bath. Once she was clean and in her pajamas, Nadia reminded her parents of the deal they’d made. “I get to sleep in your bed tonight,” she said as she held up a pinky. “You promised.”

“Yes, we did,” Steve sighed. “What do you say we watch a movie in our bed before you fall asleep?”

“Popcorn?” Nadia asked excitedly.

Natasha shook her head. “You already brushed your teeth.” She had to bite her bottom lip to keep from laughing as Nadia’s body deflated with a mournful sigh. “C’mon,” she said as she picked up her daughter. 

All night, Natasha’s thoughts kept drifting to the capsule hidden away in the heel of her left boot. She’d stopped herself three times from asking Nadia what she thought about living with sisters like the Sitwells, and judging from Steve’s face, he’d wanted to ask a similar question once or twice over dinner. But that conversation wasn’t for tonight. This evening was only for relishing the chance to be around their daughter again. To listen to her tell stories, smile while she giggled in her bubble bath, and snuggle her close in bed.

As the opening credits for _The Little Mermaid_ started for the millionth time in the apartment, Nadia’s fingers went to Natasha’s hair. “This is pretty,” she said as she gently fingered the curls. “I like it.”

“Me too,” Steve agreed.

“One, two,” Nadia counted while pointing to herself, then Steve. “We win.”

Natasha raised an eyebrow while silently wondering which uncle she picked that up from. “It’s cute how you think this family is a democracy.”

“What’s that?” Nadia asked.

“One of the many things your daddy fought for in a war long ago,” Natasha answered. “Watch the movie.”

Thankfully, it didn’t take long for Nadia to fall asleep. As soon as Steve and Natasha were sure she was out for the night, they shut off the movie. Even without the modifications made to their bodies, they were pretty sure they could quote the film in its entirety.

“You okay?” Steve whispered.

Natasha nodded. “Better, now that we’re home.”

A small smile crossed his face. “You didn’t ask her about siblings.”

“Neither did you,” Natasha pointed out. Steve looked down at the girl sleeping between them. As he did that, Natasha watched the mess of emotions flicker over his face. “You want another one.”

“I already told you, I’d never ask that of you.”

“Not out loud, at least.”

Steve sighed. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. We’ll ask her what she thinks about it this weekend. You said we should go away for a few days, right? Then let’s get out of the city where it’s just the three of us.”

“Take some time before we send her off to school?”

Natasha rolled her eyes at the note of sadness in his voice. “It’s preschool, Steve. It’s three hours every morning. We’re not sending her off to college.”

“We’ll talk about it this weekend,” Steve confirmed, ignoring Natasha’s jab.

“And if she says no?”

Steve shrugged. “We both have more than either of us thought we would.”

Natasha fell asleep trying to believe his words, but his tone couldn’t quite match what he’d said.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, as always, to **the_wordbutler** for cleaning up my words and pushing me to write.

“Where’d you learn to make fire, Daddy?”

Natasha saw Steve’s grin in the light of the campfire. He poked it a few more times to make sure it was going to hold before he sat down on folding chair next to Natasha.

“My friend taught me while I was in the Army. He grew up in the country, and his family went camping all the time when he was a kid.”

“You didn’t go camping or make fires?” Nadia asked.

“No, Bug, I lived in the city. Fires weren’t really allowed.”

After much debate of where to spend some family time over the weekend, Nadia had ended the conversation by declaring she wanted to go camping. Her parents knew the sole reason why, but they were willing to play along. They retreated to the woods of Maine, leaving most of their communication devices behind (just a Stark satellite phone in case things went to hell). They camped deep in the woods, away from anyone who might recognize them or someone with a telephoto lens on a camera. Pepper had offered to find them a little cabin to stay in, but both Steve and Natasha had plenty of experience sleeping under the stars and were just fine giving that experience to their daughter.

“Can I do it?” Nadia asked, her mind focused solely on the fire and what it signaled as she started to climb down from her mother’s lap.

“No,” Natasha answered, wrapping her arms around Nadia. “Not until you’re older.” Nadia slumped with a sigh, but didn’t argue.

Steve rolled his lips to keep from smiling. After poking at the fire one last time, he looked up at Natasha. “Think it’s hot enough?”

“I don’t know,” she replied coyly. Jostling Nadia lightly on her lap, she asked, “Think it’s a big enough fire to roast marshmallows?”

“’Mores?” Nadia gasped.

“That’s the only reason why you wanted to go camping,” Steve answered. “Look in my bag.”

Nadia hopped off of Natasha’s lap and—with some help from her mother—pulled out a bag of jumbo marshmallows almost as big as she was. She bounced her way over to her father, making sure to stay back away from the fire. Natasha dug out the graham crackers and chocolate bars. 

“We forgot sticks,” Steve announced as he stood and wiped his hands on jeans. “Let’s go find some,” he told Nadia before hoisting her up to sit on his shoulders.

Natasha grabbed the bag of marshmallows from Nadia, who saw the bag as white, fluffy gold, and wished them well on their search. She listened as Steve and Nadia debated about quality of sticks, debating proper size and shape. Rarely was Natasha afforded such quiet and sweet moments in her life. And now she had the opportunity for sweeter memories, but she doubted her life would stay quiet with another child.

Soon enough, father and daughter returned with a trio of sticks to use for roasting marshmallows. “I think she just likes to watch them burn,” Steve commented quietly to Natasha. “Wonder where she gets that from?” Natasha shoved him, but didn’t disagree.

Once they’d all eaten their fill of the treat, and after the struggle of wiping down a sticky three-year-old in the middle of the woods, Steve grabbed Nadia to sit on his lap. She wiggled and bounced, her sugar high kicking in. He shot Natasha an apologetic look, and then began a game of tag with her, their talk having to wait a bit longer.

While the two of the chased each other around, Natasha practiced what she was going to say for the hundredth time. But no matter how many times she went through the talk in her head, it never felt right. How was a three-year-old supposed to understand family planning?

After twenty minutes of tag, and then hide-and-seek, Steve once again grabbed a less squirmy Nadia and plopped her down on his lap. “Now or never,” he told Natasha.

She nodded and took a deep breath. Once this conversation was done, she knew she might be out of reasons to say no to the gift Frigga had given them. “What did you think about being around Mister Jasper’s daughters? Did you have fun?”

“Sometimes,” Nadia answered. “I missed you.”

“We missed you, too,” Natasha reassured. “But what did you think about spending time with sisters?”

Nadia gave a big shrug, her shoulders almost touching her ears.

“What were some good things about it?” Steve asked.

Nadia moved her focus to playing with the hem of her t-shirt before saying, “One of them would play with me when I asked. They were nice.”

“Would you like to be a sister?” Natasha asked.

Nadia’s face shot up in fear. “I have to go back to their house? You’re leaving?”

“No, sweetie,” Steve said, rubbing his hand on her back to calm her down. “That’s not how you would become a sister. Mama and I would have a baby.”

The girl’s eyes widened as she looked back and forth between her parents. Once the surprise settled in, she began to fold in on herself. “The sisters had to share.”

“Their toys?” Steve asked.

“Mama and Daddy,” Nadia explained. “I like just us.”

They all sat quietly after that. Natasha couldn’t think of a way to spin Nadia’s answer. She couldn’t remember what it was like to have parents, but if she got them back, she wouldn’t want to share them with other people, either.

Natasha half-listened to Steve ask Nadia questions about stars and what she thought the planets in space looked like. Rising from her chair, she signaled to Steve that she was going to check in. His brow creased in concern for a half second, but he didn’t say anything to her about it.

Phone in hand, Natasha walked a distance far enough away that she was sure Steve couldn’t easily overhear her, but close enough she could still keep the fire in sight. By memory, she keyed in the number for Clint’s cell phone.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“We’re in the middle of the woods,” she answered with a sigh. “We’re fine.”

“Then why are you calling?”

“Because Nadia said she didn’t want siblings.” Natasha shook her head. “Why does this hurt?”

“Because it’s something you want but you’re too chicken to admit it,” Clint told her. “She’s three, Tasha. I’m supposedly an adult, and half the time I don’t know what I want for dinner. You can’t make this decision based on what she wants.”

“Her life will be affected, too,” Natasha argued.

“Yeah, but you never know how good something is or how bad you wanted it until you have it,” Clint replied. “Shouldn’t you be talking to, I don’t know, your husband about this?”

Natasha ignored his question and instead asked another of her own. “What if I’m not capable of loving another one?”

“Nat,” he answered, his voice as serious as it ever got. “You are the only person who thinks you wouldn’t be able to pull that off. Now get off the phone with me and quit avoiding Steve. He’ll start moping. No one wants him to mope.”

She hung up without saying anything else and began to trek back to their camp. As she got closer, she saw Nadia’s head bob in exhaustion. Steve pulled her against his chest and kissed the top of her head.

Whatever courage Natasha’d built up within her to talk to Steve about how she felt vanished at the sight. A voice in her head, one that had taunted her most of her life, pointed out that she didn’t deserve the goodness she already had. She didn’t have the right to ask for more.

But then Steve caught her eye, and she was overwhelmed with the urge to tell that voice in her head to shove it. Natasha crossed the distance between them and sat back down in her chair.

“What’d Clint say?” Steve asked quietly. Nadia stirred slightly at the sound of his voice, but didn’t wake.

“To not make you mope.” She sighed and looked up at the stars. She wasn’t great at recognizing and naming constellations. She only knew enough to get her bearings so she knew which direction she was running. “I’m not saying it’s going to happen as soon as we get home,” she said turning her focus back to Steve, “but I want more than ‘just us.’”

Steve’s eyebrows shot up. “You’re sure?”

Natasha nodded. “You deserve it.” She waved him off before he started to argue. “You’re not asking me to do this. I want to. I’m selfish, and I’ll greedily take as many pieces of you as I can get.”

“And what about her?” Steve asked, nodding in Nadia’s direction.

“For once, Clint made some sense,” Natasha replied. She looked over the little girl asleep in Steve’s lap and felt her chest swell. Just the sight of her daughter was enough to warm her cold heart. And then there was this man. This good, strong man who was willing to stick with them, love them, and care for them. Years after the day they made themselves into a family, it still floored Natasha. “Sometimes you don’t know you want something until you have it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so ends another story in Nadiaverse. Now for the sad news.
> 
> The 180 Days 'verse will continue as scheduled, as will The Cellist, but Nadiaverse is going to take a bit of a break. Two reasons for that are 1) I need to write this Sam/Steve story that's been in my head for a while now or it will never see the light of day. 2) Work is about to get crazy. I'm a fourth of the way through a month of out-of-town training. As soon as I get back, my school year starts. I'm teaching an extra class this year and have a hefty subject load to cover. As a result, I need to keep my focus on work for a bit in order to make sure I'm doing justice to my students and the subject matter. 
> 
> Therefore, AT THE ABSOLUTE LATEST, you'll see the return of Nadiaverse mid-November. I whole-heartedly realize that is four months from now, and I really am sorry about that. Hopefully I can get my crap together sooner than expected. Or I may just use the time to build up enough of a buffer that I don't have to stress about quickly writing crappy and/or short chapters just to have updates done.
> 
> TL;DR: Three one-shots will start mid-November on the usual every other week update schedule. First Duty, the next in the multi-chapter Nadiaverse stories, will start in January at the absolute latest. 
> 
> I'm really sorry to have to do this, and I promise you will get more words. But it just won't be as quickly as either of us would like.


End file.
